Movies Aging Badly

From Looper, a list of great movies that have aged badly. Hard to disagree with anything here, with a few exceptions.

I am proud to say I've never seen Tron:

The tank arcade game was pretty cool, though.

I saw Temple of Doom not long ago and liked it a lot more than I thought I would. Not Raiders, of course, but nothing is, Nazi bastards.

Superman is still fantastic, but maybe I'm just being nostalgic. In 1980, when me dad brought home a VCR, Superman was one of the movies he had, the others were a pirated version of Star Wars (that was a yuuuge deal in 1980) and The Muppet Movie.

Braveheart is long, but the article is right, its the grandfather of the super-immersive combat sequences we expect since Saving Private Ryan. The battle sequence damn near gave me a seizure. Mel Gibson doesn't hate Jews, BTW. Its the English he loathes.

Top Gun, a huge deal in 1986, is unwatchable today. Wanna know what the 80's felt like? There ya go. Unless you're a woman or a gay man, there is no reason to watch this movie.

Titanic made me cry like a 13 year old girl who just got her first period in gym class. I never want to see it again. Kate Winslet had nice tits, though. If you want to know why we periodically suffer the scourge of boy bands, Titanic unmasked the 13 year old girl demo.

I  can't watch Robin Hood, long ago among my favorites, and here I am getting nostalgic again, ahhhh... 1991-92. Every girl between the age of 13 and 18 had the hots for Christian Slater. Some great one liners, though. 'Why a dull spoon, why not an axe or a sword...' the henchman asked, 'Because a dull spoon would hurt more, you twit,' replied the sheriff.

Don't be fooled, in 1999 Blair Witch was cutting edge and brilliant. Now it just looks like a camping trip someone uploaded to Youtube.

Man did they ever nail Forrest Gump. Its Baby Boomer masturbatory nostalgia, it worked for the Balding Boomers, of course, since they haven't been able to shut the hell up about their youth since their youth. It worked for us Gen-Xrs because, well, see above. We knew all the references the Balding Boomers knew. Little remembered today, the early marketing focused on Tom Hanks being CGI'd into historical footage. THAT was  a big deal in 1994.

Come to think of it, Looper is telling me my youth was awful, isn't it?