Tuesday Tally: 70's TV Hell

For reasons that have baffled scientists, philosophers and theologians, the decade of the 1970s stand utterly alone and have aged unlike any other decade.

With that in mind here are some 70's TV show openers that let you know you're in the 1970s. The pleather, the polyester, the kitsch, the assertive Jewish cuteness...it's all there.*

1. CHiPs: it's impossible to be more 70's than this intro. LA, bright light, earth tones, lot's of brass and bass. Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!:

2. Three's Company: If you've ever wondered why the 70's feel like a lonely bachelor trying to get a date with bad pickup lines, this is why. Baby Boomer men aged especially badly. They were not a pretty sight in their late 20's and early 30s. There's no excuse for this. None whatsoever:

3. The opener to Welcome Back Cotter seems tired, cynical and jaded, just like America in the 70s:

3.1 So does Taxi. Anyone else want to swallow some razors after listening to this? Let me join you:

4. What the hell is this even supposed to be? Sanford and Son, Making the 70's seem totally unserious.

5. Moving on....Starsky & Hutch. All I can say is mean streets, baby. Mean Streets. Also Paul Michael Glasser may have the best Jewfro in all television.

7. You knew this was coming: Charlie's Angels. Younger men, this was a big, big deal in 1970-whatever. The answer is Jaclyn Smith, by the way. The entire decade had no-self awareness, but I don't care. This is so cool....I gotta go.

7.1 Oh why not? And ditto everything above. Linda Carter, Gal Gadot, I just don't know the answer. Mrs. Stroock says no way:

8. Cchchchchchchchhhhh.....chchchchchchchchhhhh anyone over 40 knows what that sound is. It's the sound we all made as kids when we were playing The Six Million Dollar Man. That's right. Six million dollars. Man, inflation just kills ya. 'Gentleman, we can rebuild him. We have the technology....Better, stronger, faster.' The most immortal words in television history. Col Steve Austin, United States Air Force, Astronaut. The manly-man decade's most manly man:

The 70's weren't  all disco-balls and cheese. Here's a nice family based 70's TV show. For those who weren't there this actually gives a bit of the feel of life, the tones and colors and such:

* Mork and Mindy, proof that you can be in the 70's but not scream 'I'm in the 70's!'