Stroockisms

We give you Ace of Spades spot on analysis of the Kavanaugh confirmation:

This story had been a bus crash. 

Then it devolved into the crash of a bus filled with clowns.

Now it has entered a new phase: A bus full of circus clowns crashing into a school for blind children and even worse the clowns were doing their "Gasoline Comedy" act that day and now all the blind children are on fire and the clowns are trying to squirt water on them with their stupid lapel-flowers but the flowers are just squirting out more gas and the children are crying tears of fire out of their Unseeing Dead Eyes and holy shit a couple of the clowns look like they have boners and they're chasing around the fiery blind children trying to rub up on them with these bobbling clown-boners with big red bulbs on their tips.

It took us ten minutes to read our way through that. Ten minutes.

If you really want to crack up, use your computer's 'read aloud' function.

Middle Daughter: What's wrong with Daddy?
Youngest Daughter: I can't hear the TV!