Dear Woodstock: Die Already

For Woodstock's fiftieth anniversary Balding Boomers want to take their moth-ridden Woodstock T-shirt out of the dusty old trunk one more time while the rest of us are gently saying, Grandpa, it's time for your nap.

Some people aren't getting the goddamn hint:

June 10 (Reuters) - Watkins Glen International, the owners of the planned site in upstate New York for the Woodstock 50 festival, said on Monday they would no longer be hosting it, the latest setback for the troubled three-day event.

Woodstock 50 is backed by the co-producer of the original 1969 Woodstock festival, which was billed as "three days of peace and music" and is regarded as one of the pivotal moments in music history.

He's still alive? 

The festival, with a previously announced 80-act lineup that included rapper Jay-Z and pop singer Miley Cyrus, was thrown into chaos in April after the lead Japanese investors abruptly pulled out.

Jay Z., Miley Cyrus. The acts alone are a sad commentary on modern music.

Tickets for the festival, expected to attract about 60,000 people, have not yet gone on sale.

Sixty-Thousand. Half a million attended Woodstock '69 and Woodstock '94.

We historians have a technical term for things as old as Woodstock: Ancient Fucking History. 

Could you imagine someone in 1969 holding a revival for a music festival from 1919? Hey kids, Irving Berlin, George M. Cohan, John Phillip Souza!

I know you kids are really into this Disco thing.