Men at Home

Suzanne Venker on men and work:

There's a distinct loss of ambition for women. Men can burn out too, of course, but they don't typically fantasize about dropping out of the workforce or being unemployed. On the contrary, men are lost when they're not working. Male suicide has risen sharply, and much of it is due to unemployment or underemployment. Men need work in a way women do not. Thus, it makes more sense for men to have a leg up in the marketplace. 

Every last word of that paragraph is true.

We spent four years working dead-end jobs (life guard, researcher, copywriter) or being unemployed. We did a five month stint out of work in '98 and then a 6 month stint in '98-'99, a three month stint in the fall of '99 and finally eight months in 2000-2001. Finally we packed it in, went back to school, and started writing. 

Depression, anxiety, insomnia, you name it, we had it. It's not like being home during the work day was a lot of fun. It was actually more stressful than work. Those who don't know think, 'Oh, take up painting, read some great books!' Please. We became something of a shut-in, not wanting people to see us out and wonder, why isn't he at work?

As the great Bill Mahr once said, 'Men have to work.'

This was, without question, the absolute worst time of our life, and the previous decades weren't all that to begin with. 

I've spent the last 20 years trying to make up for it.