Emergency Post from the House of Mouse

Last day at Disney and I wake up with gout. Mother!@@#$#!. We dragged ourselves and our foot to breakfast, and realized we could walk but couldn't keep up. We stayed behind today. After six hours, two colchicine, and a fuck ton of water, the foot only hurts when we get up. As frustrating as it is, staying behind was the right decision. We can't be hobbling through the airport tomorrow. 

Since we're confined to our room, we're taking to our daughter's computer and beginning our chronicle of the Stroock family vacation at Disney World. Young aspiring writers, use your time. This is writing 101. That's how you get the gig, man.

Mrs. Stroock is a huge Disney fan and is very serious about the parks. We're up at 6:30 and on the shuttle bus by 7:30 at the latest. She's a big believer in park-time maximization. This means we're back at the hotel by 9 or 10 PM every night. Okay, on a few days we took an afternoon break and hit the hotel pool. But overall, there ain't no dilly dally on Stroock Disney vacations.

First impression, Disney is off its game just a bit. When we were last here in 2003, one had the sense that everything was taken care of, everything was the best it could be. Not now. We've run into glitches, every day. These include tech glitches, ride glitches, hotel glitches. The glitches aren't big, but they are annoying. And Mrs. Stroock is not one to tolerate glitches.

That being said the Stroock family is having a great time. We've been to Disney Springs, Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, and Epcot Center. The parks are all clean and well run. The restaurants are fantastic. We were in the England section of Epcot Center last night and got a great fish n chips. The staff is competent and courteous. Oldest Daughter has a Happy Birthday button and is constantly wished well by staffers who see her. We'll go into more detail on parks and rides on other posts.

We're going to share another impression here, and it's a tough one. America, we got a problem. A bit of background. We live in a neighborhood full of Chinese and Indian people and most of the White people we see are at the gym. This blog has never taken talk of an obesity epidemic too seriously, mostly because the government thinks that at 250 pounds or so, we're morbidly obese. This was a mistake on our part. Man, there are some big folks out there. We saw them walking around with bucket-sized cokes, eating funnel cakes as big as a steering wheel, and ordering the extra fries combo. We're not going to go into this more, because doing so would just be mean. But wow. 

And don't get us started on people and their motor scooters. Okay, some were old. We saw one butch looking woman with a USMC tattoo and a missing right leg (we did the math on that one)....fine. But the scooters drive us nuts. And we're not just saying that because a scooter nearly took out Youngest Daughter. Those damn things a menace. No matter what, the Boomer will be catered to. 

We'll comment on one park, Star Wars Galaxy's Edge. Surrounded by Tatooine like buildings and organized around a Millenium Falcon replica, Galaxy's Edge feels like a Star Wars set. In fact, it feels like Andor.  The only ride we did was Star Tours, in which one flies about in a star cruiser. It's basically a flight simulator and it's well done. Later we went to the cantina and got Star Wars themed drinks. The Gamorean Amber Ale was excellent. The girls enjoyed a variety of fruity drinks. Time at the table was limited to 45 minutes but one could order as much as one wanted. Overall, we thought Galaxy's Edge was a touch underwhelming as if the park wasn't big enough. A few rides, a few shops and that's it. We hope this park is expanded, with say a Star Destroyer section and Hoth section. But Galaxy's Edge was packed. So Disney must be doing something right.