Will Nukes America, also Fox News

No, we're not going to open the morning by calling Chris Wallace a cunt.

That's because we're calling Fox News' John Roberts a cunt. What a whiney little...well we just don't want to write that word too much.

[Really, you don't seem to have a problem so far-Ed].

We harken back to the Bush-Gore debates 20 years ago. As we've written before those were absolutely disastrous for Gore, who won all the points but came off looking like a smug, bullying, know-it-all. The Vice President thought he did great. The staff was reduced to showing Gore SNL parodies of himself to get him to understand he was losing. All Bush had to do was show up.

We dimly recall a lot of talk back then about civility, where it had gone and why we couldn't have those in this current crop of debates. We weren't sure though until we remembered pundits raving about the Veep debate where Cheney and Lieberman sat at a table and had a serious, even pleasant adult conversation about the issues of the day.

Anyway....

With The Great Nuclear War of 1975 we're worried about rushing to the end. You ever see a movie that gets to the wrap, the climax with a montage but leaves you hanging? That's what we're worried about. We don't want readers thinking, 'Oh...in 1978 they get the thing in the place and that makes that problem go away...oh, ok...I guess.' And all of the sudden, BAM!, its Inauguration Day 1981.

We're also grappling with bringing back some people from the opening vignettes. The problem is readers may be like, 'Oh...the Eck Ranch in Colorado? That was like a hundred and thirty pages ago...Oh the old guy with the Mexican wranglers....oh sure...ok...' But we don't want to update on them every other chapter. As a reader we always found that mentally taxing, which is why so many of the vignettes are one and done.

We shall use our considerable skills as a writer to solve these problems. We are very good at what we do.

Wither Baseball Will

 Joe Biden looked like a tuckered out, angry old man.

Also, did we mention Chris Wallace is a cunt?

Anyway...

We used to love baseball. Back in the 80's and 90's we could watch any ballgame, Tampa/Oakland, no problem. Pittsburgh's middle relief? They could use a lefty set up man...That's the kind of detailed knowledge we had for the game. 

We're not sure what happened, but about a decade ago our love for the game began to fade. The last time we were truly nervous about outcomes was 2009, the year the Yankees won their last World Series. By 2012 we had the Yankees' playoff games on in the background while we did something else. With baseball's special 16 team playoff format this year we should be in heaven, but no. Meh.

Instead, last night we watched Lakefront Bargain Hunt with Mrs. Stroock. We noticed a couple of things. At the end of the show, when the happy couple is reviewing the homes they saw, the wife does most of the talking and the husband merely nods. Smart. Last night was one of the rare occasions win which husband and wife disagreed. They appear to be at an impasse, we said. Oh, there is no impasse, Mrs. Stroock admonished. And by Adon's Ban* those prices. We saw 4 bedroom 2.5 bath lakefront homes going for under $400 K. WTF America? You know what that would go for here in Nueva Jersey?

This got us to thinking. and we asked Mrs. Stroock, if we were to move from New Jersey where would we go? What's the place you have in the back of your mind? Delaware, she said. Which makes sense, since Mrs. Stroock is from Delaware. Maryland. Maryland? we replied. Might as well stay in New Jersey, unless you want to live out in the Western part of the state. Two many mountains, she said.

Our top five relocation preferences are Texas, Kentucky**, Tennessee, Arizona and Delaware. We've never been to Texas or Arizona, Mrs. Stroock pointed out. We just like the idea of Texas, we replied. No, was her response. It appears we are at an impasse. Oh, there is no impasse, Mrs. Stroock said.

Quite right.

Moving, and we ain't doing it anytime soon, would be contingent on several things, but most importantly, we have people here, our father of course, and also a retired couple next door that's the girl's surrogate grandparents.*** They're family and also, they need us.

Besides, we like it here in Chindia.

*Reference

**Our mother was from Kentucky

***Kind of makes up for the jerks next door who used the town to wage war against us. Bah, nobody likes them anyway.