The Combined Chinese Takeout, Math score and Corona Virus Update

Our man on the ground in Italy reports 1128 cases and 29 deaths. 

As readers can see, Espresso supplies are holding out. There's no rationing. Yet.

The number of announced cases here in Chindia is 0.0.

Announced.

Oldest daughter was furious last night becuase she wanted Chinese takeout, and well...no. Just no. Also no Thai or Vietnamese.

[What the actual fuck?-Ed].

Our Chinese is...ok. If we were up in the Stroock Northern Strategic direction, well, we'd risk it. People, when a Jew tells you a Chinese restaurant has the best Chinese food he's ever had, believe him.

In other Chindian news, Oldest Daughter's Chinese BFF failed a math test.

[Oh come on,-Ed]

We're serious.

When they were facetiming we stood over Oldest Daughter's shoulder and shook our head judgmentally. 

Oh, we had a suspected Corona Virus case in neighboring Monmouth county, about half an hour from here. Turns out to be a false alarm.

Ciao Coronavirus

Alert readers know the Coronavirus has progressed to Italy.

Our man on the ground there is sending us updates for as long as communications remain open. 

He has expressed satisfaction that Italy is making headlines. They have a few hundred cases and seven deaths. Authorities there have not identified patient-zero. Right now Florence is the epicenter. Our correspondent is more worried about Iran. 

Overall he makes the Italian horn symbol, points then to the ground to ward of the devil, and sips his cappuccino as nonchalantly as possibly. 'Eh.'