The Thursday Downer

Unfocused and generally lackadaisical writing yesterday, but we did start three scenes and made plans for three more. We're writing in exactly the way we wrote for Battle of the Three Seas. Stop and start, wondering who the fuck goes where and why, what's the thingy the Admiral would use for the other thingy, who tells him about the new thingy? Remember what a slog that was? Should be better this time though. We have a Chilean ship in Task Force 60. All they really do is observe. It's a way of showing what's happening. They could be superfluous, but we love the idea of a Chilean ship being in the task force.

It's baseball's opening day. We're going on a decade not really giving much of a crap. The last baseball thing we were into was the 2015 NY Mets. That team was a lot of fun, even if they blew it in the World Series. We can't watch baseball anymore. We hate the way the game is played. 

Which brings us to the Thursday Downer.

 [Why are you bringing this back?-Ed]

Dunno. Don't feel like writing up the Israeli elections.

[More like week three with Mrs. Stroock away-Ed]

And we're just generally pissed off and going through one of our medication skeptical phases.

[Ah. You are of course...-Ed]

Yes, yes, fully medicated. You don't fuck with that.

You really can't. Getting off that stuff is a bitch and if you do it wrong it's almost exactly like quitting smoking, or worse. For you normies, let there be no doubt, anti-depressants are habit forming drugs. If you drop them you get 'brain zaps', which is an apt description. They're almost like little bolts of lightening in your head, quick bursts that make you dizzy. It's a bizarre feeling.

We don't think we're over medicated now but we know we once were. We mentioned to the shrink that we were a bit irritable, even with the other meds, so the shrink prescribed more. That made three different meds + a 'take as needed' pill that should be illegal. You can stuff a family in an ice box, take one of those babies, and be perfectly ok with it. So we axed the third medication, arguing, 'If two meds failed, three is not the solution.'* We didn't argue, actually. We've made it clear to multiple parties on various occasions that we and we alone are the arbiter of our medication. Our word is supreme and final.

*Now that we think about it, we just stopped and nothing happened.

3 AM Again

Up at 3 AM for no discernable reason and wide awake. Three hours on the damn couch trying to get back to sleep and nothing. We've been having trouble sleeping through the night for a while now. No idea why. We're both frustrated and resentful. 

That's a lot of disjointed sentences, but we're sticking with them.

Sometimes we wonder if we should get more personal on this blog. About what exactly? Well, those of you in the know, are in the know. You read a blog long enough and you'll get to know something about the man writing it. We've dropped hints before, people.

Ed would say, it must be tough having a pretty wife, three healthy daughters, a house in a nice town, a lake house and motorboat. Oh, and the career you want. You don't have a drinking problem. You don't have a drug problem. You don't have a gambling problem. You don't even have a porn problem. Shut the fuck up.

Ed would be right. Still...That's the point. Ah fuck it. Here's Bill Whittle.

Don't Think about it and keep Yourself Busy

That line comes form the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and its how we get by.

Interesting discussion with the esteemed Paul Joseph Watson about depression:

Good points here.

We've been depressed. We've been depressed as a teenager. We think it was more than your typical teenage doldrums. We've been depressed as an adult. We mean, unemployed, out of work, can't get off the couch depressed.

Here's what we learned.

Keep yourself busy.

During a four month round of unemployment in '99 we hit upon this formula, and it revolved around routine and keeping busy.

Get up, take Mrs. Stroock to work. Come back, read a chapter of a history book (hey look at what that lead to). Work out. Read another chapter of a history book. Straighten up and clean. Watch Law & Order. Head to the store. Pick up Mrs. Stroock from work. Make dinner.

We found the key was to knock off a few quick easy tasks; dishes, paying the bills, build momentum and get going.

It was routine that got us through.

Beginning in 2001 we started making the life we wanted. We went back to school. We started writing. We got a gig substitute teaching. We made ourselves.

And we can't say we've been depressed since.