Boomered

You all know about Ok Boomer, in which Millennials, Gen-Z and now Gen-X join forces to combat Baby Boomerism. What is Baby Boomerism? Baby Boomerism is the Baby Boomer belief that life, the universe, and everything is about Baby Boomers, their wants, their needs. 

Not quite understanding generational delineations, last night our oldest called us 'boomer'. We replied, 'Don't...call me Boomer,' and added,  'I hate Boomers.' Our oldest asked us why. We told her why.

Think we're too tough on Boomers? We give you the Boomer Buggy.

Only a goddamn Baby Boomer would expect someone to design a mini-car for them. Only a goddamn Baby Boomer would think they have the right to drive the !@#$ thing on the sidewalk. 'Stand aside! Here comes a Boomer!'

By the many arms of Vishnu, if I see one of those things coming toward me I'll tip the goddamn thing over.

Bobby Beto!

Watching Robert Francis O'Rourke hurts.

He and I are both 46, and seeing him on TV one notices all these Generation X tropes and tics.

Rob could have been one of those kids profiled in those early magazine pieces about Gen X slackers and the pointlessness of modern life. 

You just know Bobby Francis read Douglas Copeland's Generation X - a lot.

Bobby was an outcast and loner. He wrote poetry and was really into Nirvana. Like, he understood Kurt Cobain, his message, his pain. He got Cobain, man. 

In the 90's O'Rourke did some Gen-xy things. He was in an ironic punk band and was part of a hacker collective. 

Later on he founded a tech company. You can't get more Generation X then that.

Gen-X to Millennials: I'm Sorry

Sometimes I wonder if Generation X has let down the Millennials.

Let me explain.

The Millennials are in a rather interesting position generationally speaking, in that they are the Baby Boomers' second wave of kids.

Generation X are the Boomers' first wave of kids, that makes us the Millennials' big brothers.

So on behalf of big brother Generation X, let me apologize to little brother Millennial.

Look, mom and dad got divorced when we were eight. Dad left mom with us and a big house to keep up. Mom went to work and we were something of a latchkey kid. Childhood really was different back then, little brother. We went outside till the lights came on or the moon came out. No one really cared what we did.

We didn't really see Dad much, he was off exploring himself and marrying your mom. Back then she was a young, aggressive go-getter at dad's office.

By the time you showed up, Millennials, we were a teenager. As you know you and I were never really that close, I mean how often did we really see each other, like once a month maybe? And by the time you could have used a big brother we were getting our own start in life. Our own mom confessed to being glad we were out of the house and Dad, well, he had a lot of regrets about not being there for us. 

To be honest, and I'm not really sure if I should tell you this, you were Dad's idea, your mom wasn't really that into having kids, but Dad insisted. Later when you came along, your mom felt guilty about that and all the effort she used to put into her career she put into you.

So Dad and your mom smothered you, helicoptered you. By then we were in our 20s. We saw how every second of your day was planned, from soccer, to piano lessons to playdates. We had playdates, little brother, it was called going outside and finding your friends. Once or twice we said something to Dad about it, pointing out how much fun we had out in the street or in the woods,  even with the scrapes, bruises and broken bones. We should have been more forceful, but were never sure if it was our place. To be honest, your mom always resented us. She felt the money dad paid on our college should have been spent on you.

We could have been a comfort to you, little brother. When Dad belittled you, criticized you, slammed you for not trying to be like him, for having your own culture -tv shows, music, god the music, we could have put an arm around you and said, 'Don't worry, he did the same thing to us.'

By the time you could have used a big brother we had a life of our own, mortgages, kids, careers, the whole bag.

We could have shown you some old TV shows, some old tunes; not in the condescending Boomer 'this is real music' kind of way either. Rather, 'Hey you like Taylor Swift? Have you ever listened to Shania Twain?' I guess there's a hundred things like that but I'll spare you a full reckoning.

Instead let me just say to you, little brother Millennial, Generation-X is here for you now.

Gen-X 50

This week our sister turns 50.

And so does Generation-X.

So here we are, 40 million or so Americans wedged into the crack between 80 million Boomers and 80 millions Millennials.

The Boomers always reviled us, 'Why aren't you emulating the 60's? Also, how dare your try to emulate the 60's!'

The Millennials couldn't care less. 'Yeah, yeah. Videos on MTV. Whatevs and meh.'

We're basically where the Boomers were during our formative years, spent watching a lot of MTV and trying to do Woodstock. There's tons of 80's nostalgia out there. Just yesterday we were doing Ferris Bueller quotes and discussing Star Wars with our sister.

We like to think we're not overdoing it.

No one's really talking about Gen-X. No one has reason to do so. Generation X goes to work, raises the kids, pays the mortgage without fanfare or complaint. Personally we take great comfort in our generational anonymity. 

Middle age is kinda fun.

Outro (stay with it till the end):

Wither Paul Ryan

In an interesting piece on Paul Ryan, Politico says the speaker is planning on packing it in.

If true this would mark the passing of a generation of conservatives such as myself.

We grew up in the age of Reagan and Bush and the only Democrat president we remembered was Jimmy Carter.

New Gingrich shaped us politically. This was the 90's, the era of policy wonkism with ideas coming up from the think tanks like Heritage and CATO and being adopted by a second generation of conservatives who wanted to reform the way government worked.

We used to have ideas on everything from garbage collection, to schools, to Medicare and Social Security reform.

Politically this never really worked and few of the ideas ever really got adopted federally. No one really gives a crap about school vouchers.

The failure of the likes of Ryan and myself led to Trump. All hail Trump.

Via Time

You don't get much more Gen-X than this

Review: The Orville

Ok, so last night we watched the first episode of Fox's new show, The Orville (thank you, Hulu).

We totally get this show and we understand why many of the reviews are mixed. We'll get to that in a moment.

Orville looks and feels like a Star Trek show. The score, the pacing, the characters, everything is lifted from Star Trek TNG. There's a Worf character, there's a Data, you get the idea. But there's no Picard. Instead there's Captain Ed Mercer, whose Kirk if Kirk had emotional hangups, you know, if he were actually human. And there's no Riker, either. The ship's XO is Lt. Commander Kelly Grayson, Mercer's ex-wife,

Nice little twist, no?

The plot of episode one was actually kind of interesting too.

Now here's why both Millennial and Boomer critics are having trouble with The Orville. Seth McFarland is 44. This is a Generation-X show. The crew is sarcastic and ironic. They make a lot of wisecracks. They try not to take anything too seriously. Mercer and Grayson bicker a lot, just like normal couples.

Basically, the stuff that would get overly serious is ironically interrupted by real life.

We think it comes through with this trailer:

Well done, sir.

The Gen X Style

We've written before about Generation X and Balding Boomer excess. The last time we did so we made a reference to the Balding Boom getting old quickly while Generation X has not.

I mean, by 1985 your average Balding Boomer was wrinkled balding and overweight, clinging desperately to his misspent youth and on the verge of buying a sports care in an attempt to recapture same.

Generation X doesn't really look like that, the question is why?

I think for starters we're the first ones to come of  age with a workout culture; aerobics, running, weights, and most Gen Xrs have kept it up. I know I have.

There's a lot of large, burly 40ish men out there. Between exercise and nutrition Generation X produced the biggest men in American history. By the time I was 18 I was as large as football players from the 1950s (6-0, 200). My grandfather used to give me all kinds of crap for looking like a piano mover and not some nice Jewish lawyer.

On the female side a lot of women differed motherhood for a while and thus aged differently. The exercise and nutrition have been great for the gals too. Look folks, in 1985 there were no MILFs. I'm proud and delighted to say that Generation X is full of them. God bless the modern fashion of form fitting jeans and boots.

Stylistically Generation X keeps it crisp. Nothing too fancy, T-shirt and jeans with a decent set of sneakers. Pressed shorts in the summer. At least that's how I role. I call it the 'Simon Cowell' look. [Did you just come out?-ed] You wish, motherfucker.

What a 50ish Gen Xer will look and feel like remains to be seen, but it will be seen soon...yikes.