The NFL Puts the Broad in Broadcasting

Good post-Halloween morning. The children trick or treated as the adults gathered in the cul-de-sac around a firepit. We had a glass of wine. Middle daughter brought home a Life of Jesus DVD given out by a Christian family determined to save her soul, we guess. 

We once more find ourselves slipping back into our NFL habit. It's just nice to have something to watch at night while we get to bed. Don't hate us. Hate the game. 

The great Robert Stacey McCain wrote yesterday, Football is a Man's Game. RSM is always right, especially when it comes to women. Younger reader(s) would be fools not to take his advice, 'If a girl tells you she's a feminists just walk away,' we paraphrase. 

McCain is surely right when he complains about all the women commenters on TV. He goes on at some length about female sideline reporters and wonders when chicks on the sideline became a thing. This blog believes 2000, when Melissa Stark joined ABC's disastrous Dennis Miller Monday Night Football experiment.

This blog's enemies are probably expecting to read, 'We don't want a woman on an NFL sideline unless she's in a short skirt and go-go boots,' or some such. Not so. We think cheerleaders are a scandalous distraction. How many unwanted pregnancies have resulted because the camera lingered on a cheer line for too long? Back in our professorial days we had a student who was a competitive cheerleader. This young lady, who aced our World Civ II class, hated NFL cheerleaders, 'sideline strippers' she called them. Quite right. 

It will surprise no one that this blog draws a lot of traffic from the vast pool of beautiful women who bless these United States. Surely  a few of you are current or former NFL cheerleaders. If 'sideline stripper' is too harsh, competitive cheerleader is too generous a description for what's going on behind the bench. Know what you are. Yes, yes. We're sure you work very hard. 

We've always felt great pride that our own New York Giants have never had cheerleaders, a policy instituted by the late Wellington Mara and continued to day by his son, Tim. For those who don't know, the Maras are one of the NFLs noble families, the Starks of the league. They were basically beheaded in the mid-60s when the game passed them by. Of course the hapless Jets have cheerleaders. That's just the kind of organization the Johnson family runs. They're different kinds of people over there. 

No. No, ma'am. This husband of a corporate suit, who was at one time responsible for the household cooking and cleaning is no sexist. No, this father who did Mr. Mom duty with all three of his little girls doesn't think a woman's job is to stay home with the children.

We once turned off the AFC championship game because our oldest wanted to watch Wow-Wow Wubsy. 'Can we watch my shows, Daddy. Please?' You young fellas,  a little girl asking you for something is deadlier than your mom guilting you, or your girlfriend saying, 'You know what store is next Bed Bath and Beyond and Yankee Candle don't you...?'

There are indeed roles for women in the NFL. This blog endorses 100% female NFL refs. Why not? They're just as capable of over-officiating and blowing the call as men. And we have no problem whatsoever with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' two female coaches, Lori Locust and Maral Javadifar  (defensive line, strength and conditioning). If reader(s) don't think women can't  teach men about lifting weights, they should come to our gym. Again, why not? 

But women talking about football, announcing football...we shake our head. There's just something about that voice during a game that makes us think we're being nagged.

Below, the Top 10 Led Zeppelin riffs:

It's hard to argue with any of that. Number 6, Ten Years Gone, is criminally underrated. We like it better than Stairway.  Here we are playing Ten Years Gone:

Monday Morning Hoochi Koo

That minor soreness in the knee we complained of Friday is almost certainly gout. As per usual, the actual attack his healed but residual soreness remains. Gout is a fickle, impossible to please bitch. 

Zerohedge reports that Libertarian Scott Horton annihilated Neocon puff-boy William Kristol in a debate about war and empire. We'll catch it later. Without commenting on the points, in 2003 this blog agreed with Kristol entirely. Yes, war and empire. We believed that US military might could remake the Middle East for the better. And maybe it did. Who knows? But Iraq didn't leave us wanting more. This blog isn't calling for Neocon Boondoggle II: Syrian Boogaloo. No. The Iraq campaign has given us great pause. Why hasn't it done the same for Kristol and Donald Kagan? These are supposed to be the smart guys right? We only went to an internet college. 

What Will's Watching. We caught only a little sportsball yesterday. We see the Giants still suck. By Wellington Mara's ghost, it's been a decade since the Giants played a big game. What a disgrace. Mister we could use a man like Eli Manning again.  Like we said, we didn't watch much sportsball. Instead we watched the first episode of Maid, which is about a young woman running out on her abusive husband. Send the man-police if you want, but it's more interesting than what passes for football these days. 

Monday Metal: Ladies and gentlemen we give you Rick Derringer and Rock n Roll: Hoochie Koo:

This is 70's era rock n roll convergence. It is impossible to make a more 70's hard rock song outside of laboratory conditions. Rock n Roll Hoochie coo is glorious. Todd in the Shadows says it better than this blog ever could. Watch him. We'd like to call attention to this performance. It's all piss and vinegar, a young man filled with self confidence having a great time.  Check out the way Derringer opens and closes the solo with jagged riffs. He bends the fabric of spacetime.  Magnificent. By way of contrast, here's Derringer performing sometime in the 2010's. He's a master guitar player a professional virtuoso. He's also in late middle age. In 1973 Derringer misses a note early on. It takes the backup singers a verse to get their voices right and it's still awesome. See the difference?

Sunday Autumnal Various

 A decent night of sleep, though with intense dreams.

Another contractor is coming this morning to give us an estimate on the basement. It's time to make some decisions and get things done.

We're entering the meaty part of autumn. Here in the northeast there's not a lot of rain*. Mornings are cool and crisp. Shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt are perfectly appropriate. This is really is the best time of year. Looking out the window, we see the leaves haven't changed yet.

The New York Football Giants [They suck-Ed] will be retiring Eli Manning's number today. The man is the two time Super Bowl MVP and the most successful Manning QB ever. Sorry no, NFL. Piss off. Lift that voice, motherfucker.

We much prefer when Mrs. Stroock puts her Philadelphia Phillies on the telly. Bryce Harper should be NL MVP, but the award will probably go to San Diego's Fernando Tatis Jr.

Her Penn State Nittany Lions crushed Villanova yesterday.

Boy, Bill Maher has been making tons of sense lately. We urge reader(s) to watch. Two national anthems...we shake our head with Bill's. Also, as reader(s) will see by clicking over, the man still has some comedy chops. Anyway, as Maher notes, he's an old fashioned liberal who believes in liberal things. That puts him at odds with Woke culture.

High drama this week on Capitol Hill as San Fran Nan tries to pass three different spending bills, the $1.2 billion infrastructure bill, the $3.5 billion budget bill and the debt ceiling bill. This is brinksmanship. We think they'll pass something but not everything. But who knows? The Squad is basically a spoilt Millennial gal used to getting everything she wants. Wonder why? The Squad may simply fold its arms, cross its legs, look out the car window and say, 'I'm fine', metaphorically.

While Mrs. Stroock is watching sports ball we'll be reading through and making editing changes to The Great Nuclear War of 1975. Right now we're looking to be on target for getting it done by 1 October.

We're still not seeing a of things that need improving. A few paras and ideas could use expanding (we've made notes and will expand as such) but things are looking pretty good. A lot of the scenes seem random, scattershot to us. But it's possible we're over thinking. We await beta reader's opinions.

The more we read the more questions we have. Why not show a scene with a gas station owner? Or a deli owner? How about a post office guy?

Remember, we've been working on this project, for what, 18 months? In that time we've written to nuclear war novels. Not to mention The Weser. We are very good at what we do and must proceed with confidence. Inshallah, we shall all eat lamb in paradise.

*Not until November! Ha! GnR rocks.

Will's Good Idea for the Week of 9/12/21 with Measured Commentary on the NFL and Joe

Baaaaaa, virtually no sleep. Don't get us started on the things.

We've thrown out just about everything we can throw out. Remediation people are coming on Tuesday. 

And like that, autumn is here. As we write it's about 55 degrees. We won't bother translating that into fru-fru Euro numbers. Metric system...what are we? Canadian? What's next, football fields that are 120 yards long? Speaking of which, it's a sports ball day. No. Hell no. Lift this voice, motherfuckers. 

One of the quirks about the Northeast is that aside from Notre Dame (for obvious reasons), college football isn't very big up here. Okay, Rutgers is kinda, sorta a thing in New Jersey. One does see a lot of Scarlet Knights gear. 

Mrs. Stroock comes from a Penn State family (that's where her folks met) and is devoted. She grew up with a cat named Nittany. We watch Penn State together, and over time we find we like the college game better than the league whose name shall not be spoken. Penn State is in the Big Ten Conference, as is Rutgers. Mrs. Stroock thinks Rutgers should be kicked out of the Big Ten. She's right. They're pretenders. Rutgers is not now, nor has it ever been ready to compete with the big boys. New Jersey's big high school football stars usually choose...Penn State. See for example, Newark's own Sequon Barkley. 

Foreign readers, don't trust anybody in the low down, dirty, no good South Eastern Conference. Imagine a futball league comprised of Argentina, Italy, Brazil, Germany, Spain and England, all cheating their asses off, all stealing the best players from around the world, virtually ignoring FIFA and just doing whatever the hell they want. That's the SEC. Folks down there became militantly pro-integration once they saw what black players could do for the football programs. One has to admire the SEC's brazen ruthlessness. Bastards.    

What Will's Watching, Voyager: We are becoming annoyed with the writers of this show. There's always 'interference' with the transporters, or the sensors or some such. We don't recall USS Enterprise having these constant technical issues. It's weak, contrived. Also, and we're far from the first to say this, the holodeck is dumb. In Voyager they hang out in a turn of the 20th century French dive bar. Why not use the holodeck to recreate something from the 22nd century? That's a hell of a missed opportunity. 

We looked over The Final Storm a bit yesterday and we have the Aussies and Vietnamese in a military and diplomatic stalemate. You know, maybe we should have the Australians drop the SAS and some paratroopers on Hanoi. That'd be a good short story at least. Post war, or post Final Storm.

Joe completely fucked up Afghanistan so he could have a moment on 9/11's 20th anniversary. Instead he didn't even speak yesterday. Good. Joe is...what's the word? [Unworthy?-Ed]. Yeah. [Disgrace?] Uh-huh. [A lying dog-faced pony soldier-Ed] For certain. It is hard to put into words our contempt for the man and his 65 million or so voters. Joe has no business being anywhere near a 9/11 commemoration. 

We didn't watch any of those. We're cynical and bitter about the whole thing. For 20 years the governing class from W through Trump failed us. The War on Terror is over and America's current situation is analogous to that of Britain in 1945, exhausted and broke. Don't believe me? Look who's president. Take heart America, you did not elect this man. 

America to NFL: Drop Dead

Thank you cortisone, thank you. We don't have diabetes, just lingering gout. Two weeks ago we were at the beach,  looking good and tan, drawing the gaze of some wine moms, when a wave caught us and slammed our right heel into the ground. We limped back to the condo and for a crucial 12 hours thought we had sprained something. Nope. Our podiatrist informed us that a jarring like that can induce gout.

Get woke go broke, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell must be thinking this morning as he empties the coffee out of his thermos and fills it with bourbon. Ratings from Sunday night's Cowboy's/Rams game were down 28%. European readers, the Sunday night game is the game of the week. That's the Dallas Cowboys, of whom even Belgians have heard, vs the Los Angeles Rams and their new fangled 21st century stadium. That's a marquee matchup. That's like TV ratings being down for Italy vs Germany. 

Last night we caught a quarter or so of the Giants game. The team for whom we have bled, whose victory in Super Bowl XXV is still among the top five moments of our life, whose owner* replied with a thank you note for a fan letter we sent, which sits framed on our living room wall....we felt nothing

NFL owners, you still think Radical Roger is worth $35 million a year? Mr. we could use a man like Pete Rozelle again.

Rogan wants Trump and Biden. Of course Biden will never go on the show, and we still think he'll crap out off the debates. But Trump should on Rogan, do the full four. Talk about anything and everything. Trump is making 'historic' (that's Politico not us) inroads with Blacks, Jews and Latinos but Biden is ahead in the polls?  Come on, man....

Looking at the Great Nuclear War of 1975, some of the scenes are jumbled and need to be reorganized. For example, our SR-71 Hawaii scene was under the trouble in the states chapter but more appropriately belongs in the chapter showing Navy and Air Force aircraft flying recon missions to determine extent of damage. Also the book needs hard breaks. Part I: The Aftermath, Part II: Winter, Part III: Rebirth, and so on.  

Hmmm...In an attempt to try to get a foothold on some kind of, any kind of social media, we've been expanding Stroock's Books on FB with maybe half a dozen posts a day. We watch a lot of Tim Pool, and urge reader(s) to do the same. Maybe we should try a morning post and a late afternoon post. Huh.

A man of letters such as myself will from time to time need to reorganize his library. That process is well underway. It took years to get our hands on all the books in the American Heritage series. There they are:

*Wellington Mara, rest in peace, sir.

The NFL- A Personal History: The Worst Week

For decades the NFL has had a gap week between the championship games and the Super Bowl. This does make for anticipation and buildup, and we're sure the NFL is afraid of what will happen if they lose this week. Which is understandable.

A few years ago the NFL moved the Pro-Bowl from the week after the Super Bowl to the week before. That's something, at least. They've tried some gimmicks like having TV analysts chose the teams. But still, nobody cares about the Pro-Bowl. It's just so stupid.

This week is really just a reminder of the bleak, bleak February and March Sundays without football that lay ahead. God, it sucks.

This blog calls for the NFL to lose the gap week, dump the Pro-Bowl and play the Super Bowl a week after the championship games. Commissioner Roger Goodell, you're the NFL, you don't need the buildup before the Super Bowl. The game is the buildup.

The NFL: a Personal History: Introduction

Today we recall playing football in our grandparent's backyard with our father and grandfather and asking about the Giants. They were 6-10 last year, we were told. We looked it up. That year was 1979, so this must have been the winter of 1980.

And that was our introduction to the NFL.

Being a child of the 80's we came of age when the Giants were good, the San Francisco 49rs dominated and the game was still defined by the Raiders, the Dolphins, the Steelers; the great teams of the 1970s.

The first player we remember is Giants' kicker Ali Haji Sheik. We attended our first game in 1983. The first Super Bowl we watched was the Bears utter destruction of the Patriots in Super Bowl XX. Don't be fooled, in 1985 everyone thought the Super Bowl Shuffle was cool. There's some Monday (not) Metal fodder. Our first favorite player? Why Lawrence Taylor of course, later Phil Simms.

During this era the great Bill Parcells was the Giants' head coach. Check out his numbers. He averaged 10 wins a year with the Giants, five playoff appearances, eight playoff wins and two Super Bowl victories. They were a Monday Night Football mainstay. Oh, and those great 49rs teams, the Giants gave them fits! You're damn right Bill Parcells is in the Hall of Fame.

We ended our first decade of football accustomed to Giants dominance.

Sunday Afternoon...time for Netflix

During last Thursday's NFL season kickoff we watched Insatiable. 

We weren't the only ones who found something else to do:

Snagging 19 million viewers on the Comcast-owned network, the late starting Eagles winning kickoff game fell 13% in broadcast audience from last year’s NFL opener with the New England Patriots and the victorious Kansas City Chiefs.

That’s another year of straight double digit decline for the NFL and NBC. With last years opener holding the previous record, the 2018 battle in Philly is also the worst any kickoff game has done since 2009.

We spent much of last fall lamenting what Roger Goodell has done to the game. They're putting a bad product onto the field. Now they're going into season number two of the Kaepernick-NFL Anthem category.

So after Insatiable, we'll binge Ozark.

Two Teams, our Entire Life

When we got into football in the mid 80's (let's say 1984, when we went to our first Giants game) the NFL was still very much defined by the previous decade. The glory franchises were the Steelers and Raiders. Tom Landry's Cowboys were still good.

But a new dynasty was rising, and would win the Super Bowl that year: the San Francisco 49rs. The Niners were great from 1981 through 1998. That's 18 years people. At the age of  26 the Niners were a power for our entire lives.  We never knew an NFL that didn't have a great 49rs team. 

A few year after the Niners fell, the New England Patriots rose. Now for another 18 years the Patriots have dominated. For almost our entire lives two teams have dominated the NFL. 

Remarkable.

American Sports: The End is Nigh, Part Deaux

So, foreign reader(s), yesterday's Saints-Vikings Divisional Playoff game ended thusly:

Foreign reader(s) that's really not supposed to happen. It was a marvelous moment. Then the NFL showed its retardednes.

The refs had to review the play. So three minutes into the celebratory pandemonium the official goes to the center of  the field and solemnly declares like God on the Mountain, 'After further review, the play stands...' 

Then things get even more retarded. The Saints understandably went to the locker room as fast as they could. The field was swarming with celebrating players, media, etc. The refs then inform us that for the game to be completed a meaningless extra point must be kicked. They actually dragged a bunch of Saints from the locker room to defend the point. Poor bastards.

Could you imagine if....yes, yes we could.

Anyway, congrats Vikings. That was a great moment.

Roger Goodell-Bad for the N-F-L

CBS tells us:

As of Thursday afternoon, there are actual NFL tickets that are selling on the secondary market for under five dollars. Of course, like all good deals, these tickets do come with a catch: You need to live near Buffalo, have a high tolerance for cold weather and be willing to sit through three hours of a Colts-Bills game.

Ok, Ok, it's Indy at Buffalo. For foreign reader(s) that's like South Shoreswamp playing Upper Slobovia in a meaningless Futball match.

But it used to not matter. Buffalo has been much put upon these last twenty years or so. Here's how their last playoff game ended in 1999:

Before that from 1990-1993 the Buffalo Bills lost four Superbowls in a row. We're proud to say our own New York Giants got things going:

Still a top five moment in our life

And still the Bill's fans showed up to see their team.

What heartbreak and pain could not kill Roger Goodell could.

Let's recap what Goodell has done to the game:

-A shameful discipline policy where Ray Rice gets two games for punching out his wife but Tom Brady gets four because he might have known some balls were deflated. Oh, and Greg Hardy gets to play even after being convicted of throwing his girlfriend across the room.

-Instant replay becoming the arbiter of all things on the field; used to overturn calls where the ball moves ever so slightly. This takes away all suspense as one has to wait to see if a call 'stands' before actually celebrating. Instant replay causes needless delays, especially when every score needs to be reviewed. This has less to do with 'getting the call right' than with providing an excuse for more TV timeouts.

-Changing the rules so the passing game dominates, making defensive backs into passive backs who may only tackle the receiver after he catches the ball. Great for fantasy football, not so great for the game.

-Allowing refs to over-regulate and dominate the game. Pick up the flag? No. Don't even throw it.

-Refusing to deal with strutting, chest thumbing, look at me, hip-hop-ghetto culture addled players who jump up and down after, you know, doing things like making a tackle.

-Covering up the CTE scandal and downplaying the risk to players.

Do we even have to discuss the anthem knealers?

Of course Goodell just got a new contract.


**Via our friend William Katz

Roger's Deflated (foot)ball Game

The below sequence of plays in last night's Chief-Raider's game is unbelievable and not in a good way:

That's one reversed TD call, one offensive pass interference call reversing a TD, a defensive holding call extending the game with no time, another defensive holding call extending the game with no time, and mercifully a 'game winning' TD.

As far as the first TD reversal goes, in the age of Goodell where defense is Verboten, why even bother reversing the call and putting the ball on the 1? Everybody knows Oakland is going to score.

What a farce.

Whose Balls are Deflated now, Roger?

Behold, gentle reader(s), Roger Goodell has no soul. Follow the link to watch Roger Goodell say 'issues' and 'community' and talk a lot about 'improving' our 'communities'.

Let's get something straight, Goodell. Our community is filled with nice people from all over the world who work, raise kids and keep up their lawns. We like to get together for block parties and inter-holiday festivals. Dewali is a lot of fun, Roger. Our community is just find and needs no improvement from the likes of you.

Your community is filled with show-boaters and unpatriotic tattooed millionaires with long rap sheets. Remember how you gave Ray Rice two games for punching out his fiancee and how you let convicted girlfriend beater Greg Hardy back in the league? Of course, Tom Brady got four games for deflated balls.

So please just stay away.

 Roger Goodell has no idea what to do about the kneeling and the plummeting ratings.

Watching this clip it's clear Goodell doesn't even know what to say.  Goodell sounds like Hillary!'s focus group people told him to keep saying 'community', 'issue' and 'improve'.

In fact he sounds like Hillary!? How did sounding like Hillary! work out for Hillary!, Roger?

You know what? Actually, he sounds like Algore.

Whose balls are deflated now, Roger?

Via CBS

Nailed it

NFL Man

For the non-NFL fan,  Ray Lewis is a former linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens and two time Superbowl winner. During that time he became an iconic NFL star and is a future hall of famer.

Ray Lewis is also well known for being involved in a double murder. Via USA today:

Only Lewis pleaded guilty in relation to the case: for obstruction of justice, a misdemeanor. He originally was charged with two counts of murder but struck a deal with prosecutors in exchange for his testimony against two of his companions that night, Reginald Oakley and Joseph Sweeting. 

Lewis never directly linked his two friends to the killings, and they were acquitted. Lewis had testified that Oakley, Sweeting and another man had gone to a sporting goods store the previous day to buy knives. Baker's blood later was found in Lewis' limo. Having fled the crime scene, Lewis told the limo's passengers to "keep their mouths shut." The white suit Lewis was wearing that night — on Super Bowl Sunday — never was found.

Ray Lewis' suit had the blood of two dead men on it.

The USA Today report is extensive and we suggest reading article in its entirety.

Not being in the spotlight, Ray Lewis took it upon himself to go onto the field and kneel during the National Anthem with the Ravens.

Only he could provide the gravitas needed for such a moment.

Ray Lewis also hosted a reality TV show called Coaching Bad:

Spike TV is developing a television series where former Miami Hurricane and Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis will team up with anger management specialist Dr. Christian Conte to help coaches deal with anger related issues stemming from the stresses of the coaching profession.

Mr. Lewis is the man to lecture others about impulse control. The night his crew murdered two men he was coming off a $100,00 shopping spree.  Lewis also has six children by four different women.

A pillar of rectitude is he.

Blood on that suit too?

Michael Bennett Spins a Yarn

Michael Bennet is a Defensive Lineman for the Seattle Seahawks.

A few weeks ago he was briefly detained by Los Vegas Police who said he was acting suspiciously during an active shooter incident.

Bennett immediately exercised his Black Privilege:

Bennett described the incident as a case of “simply being a black man in the wrong place at the wrong time,” in a Twitter post earlier this month, adding that an officer put a gun near his head and threatened to “blow my [expletive] head off.”

His explanation was too easy and convenient and as soon as we read it we knew Bennett is a liar.

Our insight is born out by facts:

The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department released footage Friday from the body cam of an officer involved with the detainment of Seattle Seahawks defensive end Michael Bennett in Las Vegas on Aug. 26.
Sheriff Joseph Lombardo played the videos in front of reporters and offered his thoughts as well as the results of an internal investigation.

Per Mike Shoro of the Las Vegas Review Journal, Lombardo said officers had "reasonable suspicion to stop Bennett" and said he didn't believe race was a factor.

That is, they had an active shooter incident, Bennett decided this was a good time to run crouching from position to position. Looks pretty bad to us.

Jesus, Bennett is supposed to be a college man.

Not a Mug Shot

*Note, we changed the headline as we felt 'Michael Bennett is a Liar' was unfair.

The NFL Hates America

Well that was an interesting Sunday.

In London players stood for God Save the Queen but not the Star Spangled Banner.

In New England several players knelt and were booed by the fans.

In Pittsburgh the Steelers stayed in the locker room. The lone exception was former Army Ranger Anthony Villanueva who proudly stood at attention and saluted-alone. The late owner Art Rooney rolls in his grave.

Then there's Odell Beckham who did this:

(Getty Images)

Thank you NFL for not letting me down.

NFL 'color rush' Uniforms one Typo away from Oblivion

Last night we were watching a Jerry Seinfeld stand up performance which we recommend, by the way.

We forgot there was a football game last night.

Good thing.

Via Instapundit and Lindsey Thiry on Twitter we have this:

Let's be fair both the Rams and the Niners suck. Also Thursday afternoon (kickoff would have been in the 5 o'clock hour) is kind of a bad time for people to get to the stadium.

Screw it let's not be fair. Kaepernick is most closely associated with the Niners. Of course given that region's political predilections one wonders if fans aren't staying away because they support Kaepernick.

Let's look deeper. The Rams and Niners are wearing the infamous NFL 'color rush' uniforms for Thursday Night Foorball. Check those out, yo. Gansta black for the red and gold Niners, and a hideous yellow for the Rams. We recall one game where the Jets were wearing all green and the Bills all red. They looked like a giant Christmas celebration. Thank god our Giants haven't adopted these uni's.

[Sorry mate, week 14 against the Cowboys-Ed]

MotherF!@@#$!

We shudder to think.

If only someone made a typo and called these monstrosities 'colored rush' we'd be spared the whole hideous extravaganza.

It's almost as if the NFL doesn't want us to watch.

Here's Jerry on rooting for the NFL uniforms:

Roger Goodell, you want us to root for those hideous 'color rush' uniforms? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Keep on earning that $40 mil per, Roger. Keep on earning.

Notes on Stroock's NFL Ban

We totally forgot their was an NFL game on Thursday night. So the ban is going well.

We should define out terms. We'll be folding some laundry later and will probably have a game on in the background while doing so.

[What are you, a woman?-Ed]

This is more of a soft ban, but a ban nonetheless.

[We don't know what that means.-Ed]

Let's review our reasons.

1-We hate the rules. Because one cannot so much as get a hair out of place on a wide receiver offenses march down the field. No lead is safe. This great for ratings and fantasy football stats, but not for the game.

2-We hate instant replay. Every play gets a full IRS style audit. Were both feet down? Did the ball move? Did the player make a 'football move' to establish possession. As the great John Madden said, let's just have a catch be a catch a touchdown be a touchdown and a fumble be a fumble. Enough.

3-We hate the players. This goes way beyond Kaepernick. We loath the best player on the Giants, the showboating but un-accomplished Odell Beckham. We loath the hip-hop culture in the NFL. The braying, the preening, the taunting. These guys are worse than my 4 year old showing off her pink pony dress.

4-We hate the pandering. Because the NFL has a yuuge problem with its players beating up the women in their lives, October is breast cancer month. This means the players are decked out in pink crap; cleats, bandannas, wrist bands. Hot pink does not go great with NY Giants blue.

5-We hate the cheerleaders [Yeah sure-Ed.] No seriously. They look more like strippers. What is this, the XFL? Jesus. [You watched half a season of that-Ed] I did, and it sucked.

6-We hate the commercials. First the way the breaks are scheduled, touch down-commercial, extra point-commercial, kickoff-commercial  Second, to watch an NFL game means being bombarded by commercials in which the NFL tries to sell you stuff, jerseys, aps and the like. It also means being bombarded by DirecTV Sunday ticket ads, Peyton Manning Papa John's ads, Viagra ads, Levitra, ads, Cialis ads [Gee those seemed to catch your attention-Ed].

Yeah, yeah. Shut the fuck up, Ed.

[Why don't you shut the fuck up and go fold some laundry-Ed.]

Roger Goodell, the Form of the NFL's Destruction II

Via the Biglead we have stories about empty NFL stadiums in Los Angeles and San Francisco (or San Jose...whatever):

Week 1 of the NFL season had plenty of important stories worth following, but maybe the most entertaining was the mostly empty stadiums in Los Angeles and Santa Clara. Both the Los Angeles Ramsand San Francisco 49ers had sparse crowds for their home openers, and that has not gone unnoticed by the NFL.

LA didn't want one NFL team now it has two. One of them is the Chargers. The Chargers are San Diego's team and they belong in San Diego. No one gives a crap about the LA Chargers. It sounds ridiculous. When the Chargers moved to LA we figured at least they weren't moving to St Louis or something. At least San Diego can still follow them. But no. It looks like Chargers fans are giving the gigantic FU to the Chargers and the Spanos family.

Good for them.

Ok, ok, Paul Tagliabue let teams move, the Browns, the Raiders, the Rams and the one big mistake he made was not getting a team back in LA pronto.

But Pete Rozelle (PBUH) understood that moving teams was a bad idea. At least he fought Al Davis and tried to keep him from moving from Oakland to LA.

In our lifetime the NFL has gone from the sport that dominates winter to the sport that dominates America. Its a cash cow. Now you've got empty seats, Roger. Empty !@#$ seats. That was thought to be impossible! But you've pulled it off Roger. You've pulled it off.

Bravo,CLAP...CLAP....CLAP....Bravo.

The Media is Decadent and Depraved: Sports Edition

We're trying to give up the NFL for a host of reasons we'll get into in another post.

We caught about ten minutes of last night's game between the Chefs [great googly-moogly-Ed] and the Patriots. No one made mention of what was going on in the stands.

Via the Daily Caller:

Roger Goodell was welcomed into Gillette Stadium ahead of the game with thunderous boos and tens of thousands of turquoise towels featuring his face with a clown nose on them. Everyone knew it was going to happen and it was impossible to ignore, yet the NBC crew didn’t mention the towels, or the shirts with the same Goodell image on them, once.

Roger Goodell, who makes nearly $40 mil-per, is the devil, worse than Hitler even. Between commercial breaks and over-officiating he's made the game unwatchable. He's also out get the Pats, and cooked up this idiotic 'deflate-gate' scandal. Don't ask.

So the Pats fans really let him have it last night. Good for them. As we said, worse than Hitler.

NBC made no mention of this because they're in partnership with the NFL.

What a bunch of ass-kissers you are, NBC.

Howard Cossell would never have kept his mouth shut.

Mr. we could use a man like Howard Cossell again.