The Wills

We didn't watch the Oscars, and we understand that the one with the fish porn was last year.

But this being the time of year that people talk about movies, and this being Tuesday, we thought we'd combine movies with the Tuesday Tally.

Here's Will's all-time lifetime movie awards:

-Best director: John Ford. Cinematic sweep and story telling ability. No director is as American as John Ford. (Runner up, Steven Spielberg, captures his time like no other).

-Best picture: The Empire Strikes Back, the Gone with the Wind of Star Wars (Runner up Jaws. Great story arc. Great characters and a great sense of time and place.)

Best actor, male: Tom Hanks, duuuuuh. (runner up, Denzel, also duuuuh)

Best actor, Female: Insert Will's porn star joke here.

Best sports movie: Bull Durham. It's really about sex. (Runner up Major League)

Best Comedy: Airplane (runner up: Blazing Saddles)

Best Romcom: Are you fucking kidding me?

Best sci fi film: Serenity. A space western about human nature. Loads of fun.

Best war movie - A Bridge to Far. A beautiful picture with great scope.

Best Western: High Noon. Tightly packed. A film about us all. 

What Will watched last night: The Wire.

Monday Metal

Queen + Adam Lambert at the Oscars:

Mobyed

Last night during the Oscars we went down to the couch and spent ten minutes bouncing between Amazon and Netflix trying to find something to hold our interest for an hour or so.

Bizarrely we settled on a 1998 television production of Moby Dick starring Patrick Stewart*.

We've been researching Hawaii, which led us to Captain Cook, which led us to The Bounty, which led us to Cook's journals and the book The Bounty was based on.

Choosing the '98 version of Moby Dick was a bit or reminiscing, really. We recall watching this back then with our roommate.

We're still close friends with Paul and our families know one another. Just the other day we were telling our oldest about how stupid young men can be and using Paul and ourselves as an example. For three years he and I were in post collegiate bachelor hell together.

God we were morons.

Anyway, Moby Dick feels like the 90s but holds up OK.

Lately we like the notion of men at sea. The appeal comes with the suburban dad starter kit with the comfy sneakers and the Dad-taxi discount gas card.

*One day you will read a novel or ours that has a ship named Hell's Heart.

Wither Oscar

We are reliably informed that tonight is Oscar night.

Mad whatevs, ya'll.

Are they still doing that weird movie where the woman has sex with the fish? Or was that last year?

We don't know when we stopped caring about movies, when we left Hollywood, or more properly, when Hollywood left us. Sometime in the mid-90s, we think, when we were on our own and wouldn't spring for more than basic cable.

We're just not that interested.

Not only have we not seen Black Panther, we've barely seen Iron Man.

At night, after Stroock's Daughters are put to bed, we come downstairs, turn on our TV and....have trouble finding something to watch. Things seemed so much easier in the 80's, no?

Why do few films seem to hold our interest?

These days we're binge watching The Wire*, and we just finished The Bundy Tapes.**

Mrs. Stroock has long lamented that there seems to be no way to turn our brain off. We're not bragging, people, we're describing a disability.

*Holyfuck, Omar. My gay ghetto Terminator who just don't give a fuck but has a code and ain't never put no gun to a citizen, yo.
**Talk about another planet. Anyone else remember hitchhiking?

On Kevin Hart

Heterosexual readers may not be aware of the Oscars hosting controversy.

Briefly, comedian Kevin Hart was supposed to host the Oscars but was dis-hosted once some SJWs discovered  some old Tweets of Hart's that they didn't like.

A few days ago the Oscars back-tracked and re-invited Hart, to which he replied, 'Na, I'm good, ya'll.'

Good for him.

We didn't know much about Hart and thought of him as one of those un-funny comedians who gets by on attitude.

Out of curiosity we watched him on Jerry Seinfeld's brilliant Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. We found Hart both funny and likable.

We think reader(s) will enjoy this clip of Hart from The 40 Year old Virgin: