Tuesday Tally: Talmudic Edition

We present a list of the worst Jewish politicians in America:

Chuck Schumer: This is obvious, really. Amy Schumer's uncle is a jerk, who just last week accosted someone in a restaurant because they voted for Trump. During the inauguration we saw him speak out against discrimination, brave there, Chuck, based on race, color, creed, orientation and I swear I'm not making this up, 'gender identity'. Come on, Chuck. You don't really believe that. I'm not just bitter because he beat my man and fellow Crow Honest Al D'Amato.

Elliot Spitzer: The former governor of NY was on track to making himself a viable presidential candidate when he got busted for being Ashley Dupree's Client Number 9. Look, he has good taste I'll give him that. Anyway, this is the man who waged war on Wall Street but missed Bernie Maddof. He had the chutzpah, yes, chutzpah to run for public office in again.

Gerald Nadler: A Congressman from New York City, he is regular Hardball fodder. He looks like a troll.

Anthony Wiener: Another obvious one I guess. And a loser. While Schumer is the king of smarm, Wiener is the king of creep. Everything about him says, 'Show me on the doll where the Congressman touched you'. 50 year old men should not have the bodies of 25 year old wide receivers. I don't care how hard they work. The documentary, commissioned by himself,  is compelling. I own it. The NY Post reports Hillary's lesbian concubine is trying to patch things up with Anthony. This tells me Hillary! is actually going to run again in 2020.

Eric Cantor: Former House Majority Whip. Everything he said seemed disingenuous. Cantor talked a good game but like the rest of the GOP-e couldn't get anything done. Defeated in a primary.


*Robert Moses was the most imperious Jewish politician ever.
** Mayor Ed Koch may be the best Jewish politician ever.

Huma! Huma!

Well Huma Abedin is in the news again.

Huma sounds like a fish, because it is a fish. My father, back in his halcyon days, maintained a 55 gallon salt water aquarium that included a Huma Huma, or as it was known in Casa de Stroock the 'Hinga hoongi'. Vicious little thing. When one dropped the feeder fish in the tank the Huma Huma would take  a big bite out of the side and leave the rest for later. 

Tell me Huma Abedin doesn't look like that fish.

I've been fascinated by this woman lately. She's the pathetic star of the Wiener documentary. Man do we ever feel her pain.

Of course she was caught in NYC a few days after the election walking down the street in tears.

Twenty years as Hillary!'s young Lesbian lover only to end up a loser.

Huma and I have a few things in common. Like me she was a White House intern.  I was in '94, the summer before Monica.

Unlike me she parlayed this into a career, namely being Hillary!'s young Lesbian lover and gofer.

She applied to George Washington University. I applied to George Washington University.

Unlike me, Huma was accepted by GWU. I only lived there during the summers of '94 and later '95 when I interned for Senator William V. Roth.

For years now we've heard about how smart and talented is Huma. I guess. She was accepted to GWU. She was an editor at some sort of Islamic journal.

As noted above, Huma is in the news. Right now the Clinton people are turning their guns on her. She's the most vulnerable, after all. We doubt that Huma actually made any decisions during the campaign, that's not the role of young Lesbian lovers and gofers.

Well, for the first time in 20 years Huma is out in the cold. She hitched herself to her Lesbian mentor and crashed violently. Now she's got to get a job. On her talents and merits. Those are exactly?

She's about to be tossed out into the cold world by team Clinton. Poor thing. Climbing that career later only to fall off.

Maybe Anthony will catch her.