Tuesday Tally

When we were in Ireland a decade ago we noticed the crappy pan-European currency was adorned with boring and in fact non-existent architecture. This was of course a nod to the fact that Europe couldn't get along and was not at peace until the United States and Soviet Union imposed peace. Naturally it would be difficult for say, I dunno, France and Germany to agree on a pan-European figure to go on the twenty.

Honestly, are there European national figures that one could put on the Euro without pissing someone off? We shudder at the notion of trying to keep the French happy or trying to find a Kraut for the fiver.

But, we're willing to give it a go.

In that vein here's a list of pan-European figures for the Euro:

Augustus: Founder of the Roman Empire and bringer of Pax Romana. Civis Romanus sum!

Marcus Aurelius: Ruled the Roman Empire during the 2nd century at the absolute height of its power. You know him as Richard Harris in Gladiator.

Charlemagne: The great Franco-Germanic ruler came as close as anyone to reuniting the west. Slayer of the Saxon, the Muslim and the Viking.

Leif Ericsson: Speaking of Vikings, why not a great European explorer? This is the man who put a Viking settlement in North America, after all. Of course there's Columbus. That ought to keep the bloody Italians happy.

William the Bastard: Conqueror of England and illegitimate king. The bloody frogs should like this one.*

Jan Sobieski: Great Polish King who defeated the Turk before the gates of Vienna. A nod to the Poles, Europe's bravest people.

Victoria: Come on Euro weenies, this one is obvious. She was the greatest monarch in English history and grandmother to Europe. Hey, in a monument to European stupidity her grandsons started the First World War.

[Bloody good show, mate-Ed]

We actually suggested Victoria when in Ireland. Oh the looks we received. Get over it, boyo.

Now to redo the Dollar. Let's axe Jackson [rubs hands together] Hmmmm....Reagan, Ike....

*No, we are not putting Napoleon on the currency. We can't, we won't. Why, Wellington is turning over just hearing that...

Europe's Bubbe