Telemarketing Scammer: Yes sir....do you see the CTRL key on your computer?
Me: Yes, I see it.
Telemarketing Scammer: Now can you describe the key next to it?
Me: Yes I can.
Telemarketing Scammer: What does it look like?
Me: It's got a big penis on it and a set of really hairy testicles. It's really quite ugly....hello?
William Stroock (as in Stroock's Books)
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