Fun with Cardiac Events Part D

Three times since September of 2015 we've taken ourselves to the emergency room with chest pains.

Now, one of the great things about American emergency rooms is that if you walk in and say, 'Hi. I'm having chest pains,' they reply, 'Right this way, sir.'

Let's just say service is quick.

The first time came in December of that year up at the family vacation home in the Berkshires. We were having chest pains, an ache in our arm and jaw. That's the heart attack warning trifecta, people.

So we checked ourselves into the local hospital. They ran the EKG and took blood, everything turned out fine. We concluded that was just stress from being in close proximity to our family.

[Oh come on, they're not that bad-Ed]

Try being related to them.

We missed the combined-joint family trip to the movies for The Force Awakens.

The second time came last October where we felt chest pains after some strenuous activity...

[Oh yeah?-Ed]

Yes, Ed. Anyhoo we got ourselves to the ER, spent about five hours hooked up to machines and were once again cleared. The Dr. was pretty cute too. Blonde, athletic and wearing those shinny tights.

[You know, sometimes I just want to whack you over the head with my biggest pan-Ed]

We spent the evening watching the 7th game of the National League Championship Series.

The third incident occurred last week after a weekend of landscaping and hauling around 30 bags of dirt. We had chest pains for a few days.

[A few days? Idiot!-Ed]

We thought it was a muscle pull. So last Thursday we went outside and picked up a bag of dirt to prove we had only pulled a muscle. We felt a sharp biting pain in our chest....and away we went. This time we overnighted, henceforth our post from last week from a hospital bed. Turns out we were fine.

[What, no cute doctors or nurses?-Ed]

Actually, no.

[Good.-Ed]