Remake This

Apocalypse Now.

Here us out, people.

Apocalypse Now is easily one of the ten greatest war films ever made.

Some say it is an anti-war film. Are you kidding me? Have they seen this film?

The only cynic in this film is Captain Willard. Everyone else,  Chief and his Swiftboat crew, Kilgore and the Air Cav,  Charlie,  Kurtz; they all love what they're doing.

Jesus H. Christ, Kilgore. That man has come to Vietnam to surf and kick Charlie's ass; and he's forgotten his surfboard.

And we haven't even gotten to Kurtz .  He was the All-American boy being groomed for the top slot in the corporation. Then he goes to Vietnam, comes back, joins the special forces, returns to Vietnam and wins. By the time Willard meets him, Kurtz is a white poet-warlord with a tribe of fanatical warriors personally loyal to him. Charlie's head is a nice decorative piece in Kurtz's throne room. I wouldn't be surprised if he's got Charlie's skin-husk as a throw rug.

Still don't belive us? Well, Apocalypse Now was written by John freakin' Milius, conceiver of Jaws' Indianapolis scene, director of Conan, Red Dawn and the criminally underrate Farewell to the King. You know, Walter from the Big Lebowski.

The Key to Kurtz's turn from All-American to white poet-warlord is the final monologue. It's all right there. That's what it takes to win. 'My god the genius of that. The genius...the will...' You all know the rest. Only Kurtz understood what it would take to win.

Kurtz, Kilgore, Chief, Willard, these are all universal themes of war. Apocalypse Now is, after all, merely a retelling of Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. So let's remake it for today!...