Wither Deadspin

Deadspin is ostensibly a sports website but has always seemed to us more interested in snark and Republican bashing.

When Deadspin's new owner told the staff to stick to sports, editor Barry Petchesky responded with a gigantic middle finger and published a slew of non-sports stories. The new owner fired Petchesky.

The rest of the staff responded by resigning en mass.

Dave Portnoy of Barstool Sports has Deadspin's measure and presents some unpleasant facts.

Lemme pile on. In fact, Lemme explain something to the writers formerly employed at Deadspin.

Look at the masthead up there. See what it says? It says WILLIAM STROOCK. In fact, just writing that I think it should say, WILLIAM FUCKING STROOCK. In further fact, maybe it should say: WILLIAM STROOCK (Master of all he surveys. Doom to all those who walk the earth. Scourge to all those that dwell upon the land. A dream to some, a nightmare to others. Bringer of misery and despair to his enemies. King of the battlefield and the bedroom).

And I can do it. You know why? Becuase this is my blog and I write what I want.

Same goes for my novels. No one spends a penny, pence, or farthing producing them but me.

If I want to write a sequel to A Line through the Desert even though it will go mostly unread just because doing so twixes my nethers, then I'm going to twix my nethers.

If I think a goddamn novel about the Royal Netherlands Army is interesting, then a goddamn novel about the Royal Netherlands Army is interesting. And if I decide World War 1990: Nederlandse needs a Lesbian three way love-bang, well there's not a goddamn thing anybody can do about it.

Here's the skinny, former Deadspin people. When someone else is signing the paychecks, you write what they want. You know how many magazine articles I got assigned without even knowing what the topic was. 'Will, can you give us 5,000 words on the Fulani Jihad?' I'd say 'sure' and then ask myself, 'What's the Fulani Jihad?' and then go find out.

And fuck all, just this morning I pitched an idea to my Commie pals in Moscow for an article about the 'Ok Boomer' phenomenon and they responded, 'What is baby boomer?' Guess what, formerly employed Deadspin writers, I don't get to write Wither Ok Boomer for Inforos.

I got some bad news for Barry Petchesky and the rest of the now unemployed Deadspin staff. I've got some real bad news. The written word has never been cheaper. You had a gig that thousands of barista English-major journo-wannabes would do for half of what you made. And they will.

You've just gone from Deadspin to dead weight.

But you keep on being insubordinate and snarky, you jerks.