Israel and New Jersey Pizza News Roundup

Between editing The Weser and 76, and cranking out our latest bit of Russian collusion, we've been trying various ways to reroute our sump-pump drainage line into the back yard. The old PVC line to the drywell got clogged after a decade, and the exposed line freezes in prolonged sub-freezing temps. We thought we could run a hose beneath the deck lattice work but upon digging (through frozen ground mind you), but the lattice work is several inches under the ground. Right now we have 6-inch plastic pipe running out beneath the porch. This will work for now. 

The mighty Dave Portnoy of Barstool Sports sampled Bridgewater's own Deluccia's Pizza. The Bridgewater Breeze says:  'Portnoy reviews pizza places around the United States for his show, and, in his review, dared to say that the pizza is not just the best in New Jersey, but in the world, giving it a 9.4 out of 10 rating. Portnoy said in the video that the pizza is "100% in the conversation" regarding the best pizza he has ever had.' Il Forno down the road is better, and run by a guy from Bari. 

The Times of Israel reports Netanyahu might be able to get away with whatever they charged him with. This blog assumes the charges are trumped up, the Israeli Deep State if you will, and inherently illegitimate. According to the sub-header, Bibi would have to quit politics for several years. Hahahahah. He's done that before, hasn't he? We laugh once more, hahahahaha. How many years are in a 'several'? Oh Bibi, we can't help but admire your gall, your chutzpah. 

Meanwhile, The Times of Israel also reminds us that Imams are right, the Jew is clever: 'A large explosion rocked southern Lebanon early Thursday morning, local Lebanese media reported, adding that there were no casualties. The cause of the blast, between the villages of Deir a-Zahrani and Khomin a-Fuqa, was not immediately clear. Videos posted to social media showed a huge fireball rising into the night sky. The area is a stronghold of the Hezbollah terror group.' This blog is certain there's a reasonable explanation that doesn't involve al-Yahud. Ghosts maybe. The restless spirit of French colonialists, perhaps. Exit question: can the Jews summon spirits? You wouldn't bet against them. 

In Georgia, besieged Republican governor Brian Kemp is in excellent financial shape. Fox News: 'The fundraising figures for July 1 through Monday, Jan. 9 – which were shared nationally first with Fox News on Tuesday – follow an impressive $4 million that Kemp hauled in from February through June of last year. And the governor’s 2022 reelection campaign says that they currently have over $12 million cash on hand.' This blog endorses Kemp over Trump backed David Purdue. Kemp won his last election. 

Thursday News Round Up

NJ.com reported that NY enlisted private snow plows to help clear the snow, calling them 'Minutemen'. On FB we remarked, ' Language! Please try to avoid language like “minutemen” this is a radical militia construct. Try “snowhelpers” instead.' Good news here, as most people think we're daft. In fact, the word  'retarded' peppered the replies. 'That's sarcasm, right?' As we're wearing a black suit, white shirt, hammer and sickle tie while standing before the Soviet flag in our FB pic, some people just aren't so sure. 

The war profiteer's daughter was not defenestrated ....from her position in the GOP leadership. No moral or phyric victories A GOP that wants Liz Cheney leading it doesn't want Will.

The Times of Israel has new polling and it shows what an anti-Bibi coalition could look like: 'According to the survey, a coalition of Yesh Atid, New Hope, Yamina, Labor, Yisrael Beytenu, and Blue and White would win 61 seats, giving it a majority in the Knesset. With the left-wing Meretz, it would pick up 66.Netanyahu’s bloc, comprising Likud and the two ultra-Orthodox parties, meanwhile, would win just 44. Even with Yamina, such a coalition would still fall seven seats short of a majority. Leaders of other Zionist parties have not expressed a willingness to sit in a Netanyahu-led coalition.' That is the not-Bibi bloc 61, the Bibi-bloc 41. Who the hell would head up the anti-Bibi bloc is anyone's guess. We shrug. Sure, we like him, but Bibi's gotten a little old. He's been there a long time. Can't you find something else to do, Bibi? Think of the conservatives and evangelical Christians, Bibi could make a killing on the speaking circuit in America. 

Governor Kristi Noem (Total Hottie, North Dakota*) writes: "There are a lot of Americans whose frustration has been building for many years. Republicans have had opportunities to fix our healthcare system, reform immigration, and get our fiscal house in order, among many other things. Republicans have had chances to deliver for the American people. But we haven’t followed through." Problem diagnosed. Is Noem the candidate to take on '47 in 2024? Meh. Most of the rest of the article is conservative boilerplate. 

With the GOP having failed, here's what's next, Dave Portnoy and the rise of the Barstool Conservatives. The article pretty much describes where we are. Meh, do what you want, keep us out and LOL get fucked weirdo:  "What Trump recognized was that there are millions of Americans who do not oppose or even care about abortion or same-sex marriage, much less stem-cell research or any of the other causes that had animated traditional social conservatives. Instead he correctly intuited that the new culture war would be fought over very different (and more nebulous) issues: vague concerns about political correctness and "SJWs," opposition to the popularization of so-called critical race theory, sentimentality about the American flag and the military, the rights of male undergraduates to engage in fornication while intoxicated without fear of the Title IX mafia."

*We don't know which Dakota is which and can't be bothered to look it up. The East Coast Bias is real. 

Wither Deadspin

Deadspin is ostensibly a sports website but has always seemed to us more interested in snark and Republican bashing.

When Deadspin's new owner told the staff to stick to sports, editor Barry Petchesky responded with a gigantic middle finger and published a slew of non-sports stories. The new owner fired Petchesky.

The rest of the staff responded by resigning en mass.

Dave Portnoy of Barstool Sports has Deadspin's measure and presents some unpleasant facts.

Lemme pile on. In fact, Lemme explain something to the writers formerly employed at Deadspin.

Look at the masthead up there. See what it says? It says WILLIAM STROOCK. In fact, just writing that I think it should say, WILLIAM FUCKING STROOCK. In further fact, maybe it should say: WILLIAM STROOCK (Master of all he surveys. Doom to all those who walk the earth. Scourge to all those that dwell upon the land. A dream to some, a nightmare to others. Bringer of misery and despair to his enemies. King of the battlefield and the bedroom).

And I can do it. You know why? Becuase this is my blog and I write what I want.

Same goes for my novels. No one spends a penny, pence, or farthing producing them but me.

If I want to write a sequel to A Line through the Desert even though it will go mostly unread just because doing so twixes my nethers, then I'm going to twix my nethers.

If I think a goddamn novel about the Royal Netherlands Army is interesting, then a goddamn novel about the Royal Netherlands Army is interesting. And if I decide World War 1990: Nederlandse needs a Lesbian three way love-bang, well there's not a goddamn thing anybody can do about it.

Here's the skinny, former Deadspin people. When someone else is signing the paychecks, you write what they want. You know how many magazine articles I got assigned without even knowing what the topic was. 'Will, can you give us 5,000 words on the Fulani Jihad?' I'd say 'sure' and then ask myself, 'What's the Fulani Jihad?' and then go find out.

And fuck all, just this morning I pitched an idea to my Commie pals in Moscow for an article about the 'Ok Boomer' phenomenon and they responded, 'What is baby boomer?' Guess what, formerly employed Deadspin writers, I don't get to write Wither Ok Boomer for Inforos.

I got some bad news for Barry Petchesky and the rest of the now unemployed Deadspin staff. I've got some real bad news. The written word has never been cheaper. You had a gig that thousands of barista English-major journo-wannabes would do for half of what you made. And they will.

You've just gone from Deadspin to dead weight.

But you keep on being insubordinate and snarky, you jerks.