Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Do the Dutch Talk too Much?

Too wordy?:
A policeman got out of the cruiser each wore a helmet and flak jacket. ‘Is that you, Leyven?’

‘Hoff?’

Who else you have with you?’

Five other politei got out of the cruiser.

‘You guys were packed in there.’

‘We really didn’t have a choice.’

Leyven pointed to the bullet ridden trunk, ‘There wasn’t anyone in there I hope.’

Hoff smiled reached in the car and popped the trunk. ‘Rifles and ammo.’

‘Oh good, we need them.’

'What are you going to use them for?’

‘Right now we’re just establishing a perimeter.’

‘Well you better get to it because the Soviets chased us out of town and they’re probably going to come looking for us.’
A lot of info is being conveyed, but this could be cut down to a sentence if we really wanted to. Half the chapter is that way. Also, this is what people would do, no?

Perhaps we should sop over-thinking and jsut have confidence in our writing.

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