Tuesday, September 22, 2020

We have the Coke! Also 50 Votes

Colorado Senator Corey Gardener announced last night that he would vote to confirm a 'qualified' Supreme Court candidate. End game. As we said yesterday, this battle ends not with a bang but a whimper. We're quite sure Cocaine Mitch whipped up the vote months in advance. Here's how we imagine it went:

The five senators sat at the mahogany table in the Senate Majority leader's conference room. McConnell opened a brown paper bag and carefully poured out the Colombian White till there was a small pile of the stuff before him. He took a razor blade out of his coat pocket and made a three inch line. McConnell quickly leaned over, snorted it, and looked up.

'Senator Collins, your duty to the party is fulfilled. Vote as you need. Senator Gardner, I'm glad to hear we have your vote.' Gardner nodded. 'You have the parties' gratitude and support.' McConnell sniffed and turned to the Senator from Alaska.  'Senator Murkowski, I have no idea why you would oppose this nominee. If you support us, I promise the party will give you full support in return against a primary challenger in 2022. You know who wants to run, and she can't see Russia from her house but she can see yours. I'll be blunt. If you don't back the nominee, I won't stand in her way.' McConnel rubbed his nose. 'Senator Romney, you...' McConnell almost insulted the Utah squish, but caught himself. 'Well, there's no need to get nasty. Mitt, I'll waste no more time with you. If you don't vote for our nominee, I do not care.  Now get the hell out of my office.'

We've no idea who Trump will nominate, but this blog 100% supports the angelic and talented Amy Coney Barrett. There are those who say the GOP shouldn't even bother with hearings. Judge Barrett was vetted a few years ago already. True. Besides, screw the Dems. Also True. Also right and proper. Still, hearings are one big Imperial trap for the Dems. 

Barrett is a member of a 'controversial' catholic organization, where, allegedly women are supposed to be subservient to men. That's clearly at work in the Barrett family, anyone can see that, right? We hesitate to even repeat that because we really don't know what we're talking about. But Neither do the Dems. They'll savage Barrett's Catholicism, which will play great in the Midwest, also with suburbanite women. Here's Senator Diane Feinstein (D-Beijing) hectoring Barrett during her confirmation hearing. 'The Dogma lives loudly within you and...that's a concern.'

God almighty that woman is bad for Jews. Could you imagine if....? Na, why bother.

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