Unpublished Author Twitter

They couldn't even wait for the bodies to get to the morgue. Fucking ghouls.

In Georgia, Governor Brian Kemp utterly destroyed loser Sonny Purdue, winning 73% of the vote with 95% of votes counted. He'll crush former Star Fleet president and fake Georgia governor Stacey Abrams this fall.

My new Twitter account is modestly successful and interesting. We are amazed by the tonnes of unpublished authors tweeting about queries, and publishers and agents and rejections and....sometimes all we can do is shake our head and say, 'Just do it yourself'. They answer usually, 'But...but...I want to be published! I don't want to have to edit myself! I want a publisher who will market my book!' 

Oh my sweet summer child. Taking the first part last, unless you're JK fucking Rowling, a trad publisher isn't going to do dick to market you. That effort entails too much time and risk. They're gonna want you to market yourself. So you'll get a Twitter account, and a blog [Hey just like you! -Ed] and you'll work the phones and the interwebs.

As far as seeing oneself on the shelf, and I have, the thrill lasts about a minute. Then one's left staring at one's book on the shelf and thinking, 'Here I am, staring at my book on the shelf.'  How does one get there? Here's how things work with book sellers, 'Okay I'll take 10 Rowlings, 9 Pattersons and...okay this one newbie you have here because I owe you a favor.' 

And book signings? That's one we usually see a lot on unpublished author Twitter. Wanna sit awkwardly by yourself as people walk past trying not to make eye contact? Go ahead. Again, unless you're JK Fucking Rowling it's not gonna go the way you think it's gonna go. 

As far as the rest, well, let's just say I have people. Editors, readers, etc. And they work for me.

Also, there's a good possibility your publisher is just using Amazon publishing services. Just like me! 

Hmmm...I should probably turn this into a Substack piece or something.

What Will's Watching, Northmen: visually stunning and seemingly shot in natural light. A film about Viking myth and lore. A tale of revenge. The sacking of the Russian village was well done, at once compelling and horrifying. The film nods to Conan and dare it be said, Excalibur. I didn't care for or about the big fight at the gates of hell at the end, though. 3/4