Will Comes Out of the Closet

We had nothing else to do this morning, so we cleaned out our closet. It was time. We did our shoes a few weeks ago. How many pairs of sneakers, boots and dress shoes does a man need? Three each, we decided. 

We generated a huge pile of T-shirts, many we had never worn, some we had worn out. We left ourselves with three shelves worth of T-shirts, mostly plain in various colors, but a few here and there with logos. We also have a stack of polo shirts, mostly plain as well. But a couple have logos, Cyberdyne Systems: Skynet Team, for example. 

We found our George W. Bush 'Miss me Yet' T-shirt and decided to hang on to it. Why not? We got rid of a tonne of MAGA stuff. We literally can't even. Sorry, we just don't need Trump 2020 gear even if we support him 2024. 

What's left goes well with our huge collection of shorts. Yes we have the Gen-X Dad required shorts, tan with a few pockets, a few green and blues, and a lot of plaid. These we don't wear as much as we like, as they require a bit a work; ironing and color coordination

We didn't get to the rack of slacks, dress shirts, blazers and suits. Most of it is left over from our professorial days. We didn't always wear a coat and tie to class. There were some classes where we did the jeans, button down shirt and blazer thing; very Andrew Breitbart (PBUH). But most days we looked like a prof. Most professors dressed like bums. We were just about the only prof who bothered with a coat and tie. You can get away with a lot in a coat and tie. People will just assume you know what you're talking about. 'Hey, he's wearing a coat and tie, mate.'

Dare we say, we looked like Dr. Jones. We can't tell reader(s) how many times our department head walked into the adjunct dungeon and gave us a map, a plane ticket, and gun. We wonder who was covering Dr. Jones' classes while he was finding the Ark.* 

We admit to laughing at all the work professionals who didn't know how to adapt to working from home during the lockdown. We've been doing that since 2015. It's been seven years since we set foot in a classroom and we doubt we ever will again. We've been the barefoot writer for some time. 

Which leaves us wondering just how many shirts, pants, suits, etc. we need. We must own...I dunno, a hundred neckties? We believe it's written into our grandfather's will that we must own at least two Brooks Brothers navy blue blazers. Done. How many more blazers do we need? For that matter how many suits do we need? We have our black suit, the funeral suit we knowingly bought about six weeks before our grandfather's death, $450 custom. They misspelled Stroock on the inner pocket. Why does everyone forget the 'k'? We've worn that suit four times.

Cleaning out the rack is going to be a delicate operation requiring a lot of trying stuff on. Maybe Tuesday.

*Every synagogue has an ark where the Torah scrolls are stored.