Today in Telemarketing

Stroock: Now where are you calling from?
Pakistani Scammer: Orlando Florida, sir.
Stroock:  You get to Disney World a lot, then? See that new Star Wars ride? Would you recommend it?

Today in Telemarketing

Telemarketer: Our offices are located in Atlanta Georgia.
Stroock: How did the Falcons do this weekend?
Telemarketer: Can you verify me your credit card?
Stroock: Can you verify your location? India or Pakistan?

Today in Telemarketing

Indian Scammer: Why did you apologize to me?

Stroock: It's Thanksgiving, and I thought I'd apologize to an Indian.

Today in Telemarketing

Indian Scammer: Yes, my name is Joe Smith.
Stroock: Oh, come on. You're not even trying. At least tell me your name is Joe Patel. That I might believe....Hello?

Today in Telemarketing

Stroock: Now where are you calling from?
Indian Scammer: Yes I am calling from Newark New Jersey.
Stroock: Who's the governor of New Jersey?....Hello.

Today in Telemarketing

Telemarketer: Did you call to get a reduced rate on your credit card?
Stroock: Yes. I'm also calling to ask if you voted for Nehendra Modi.
Telemarketer: He is a terrorist pig.
Stroock: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you calling out of Karachi and not Delhi?
Telemarketer: Yes! How did you know?

Today in Telemarketing (Triumphant Return)

Stroock: 'Where are you calling from?'

Indian Telemarketer: 'I am calling from Dallas, Texas.'

Stroock: 'Whose the starting Quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys?'

Indian Telemarketer: 'I do not follow Cowboys.'

Stroock: 'Bullshit. You're in Dallas, Texas, sir. You know damn well that the Cowboys' starting Quarterback is Dak Prescott....You still there?...'

Today in Telemarketing

Indian Telemarketer: 'Did you press 1 to save money on your credit cards?'
Stroock: 'Yes I did. Are you calling from the United States?'
Indian Telemarketer: 'Yes I am.'
Stroock: 'Ok, who won the Super Bowl?'

Today in Telemarketing

Indian Telemarketer: Can you confirm the numbers on your credit card?
Stroock: Yes, it has numbers.
Indian Telemarketer: No the 16 digit number.
Stroock: Yes, I can confirm there is a 16 digit number.

Today in Telemarketing

The bastards have definitely backed off-some.

We're still getting calls, but with lesser frequency, and the Indian credit card scammers still call all day until we pick up.

We know it's them becuase they show up as PSEG (our power company) on the caller ID.

What's it gonna take? How long till those Punjabi sons-a-bitches realize there's a crazy man on the other end of the line whose sitting at the kitchen table to edit copy and waste their time, and he's all out of copy. 

When the New Jersey # shows up on the screen nobody says, 'Oh that's the guy who claimed his credit card number began with 8675309...'

When the mail enhancement pill babe see's our number she doesn't think, 'Isn't that the maniac who claimed the thumbing sound in the background was his wang landing on the kitchen table?

At this point it comes down to a battle of wills. 

[Narrator: No, it doesn't].

Who wants it more? Who has the stomach for the fight? Whose willing to accept the casualties necessary to hold onto Pork Chop Hill?

Either I get the Indian telemarketer scammers or the Indian telemarketer scammers get me.