Hitler is no Joke

Narrator: Yes, he is.

My dear friend from back in the day posted this:

Not a bad idea for a farcical story.

Krauts Review

In which The Austrian Painter gets its first Kraut review. Here's the translation:

Anyone who is the Austrian Painter, of course, should be clear to anyone before the beginning of reading. For the average Ami it may be good for a surprise ....
In the epilogue the author writes the painter with 'ph' instead of 'f'. He justified his choice for the German Chancellor (Albert Speer) with "who knows Willie Brandt" (first name also misspelled again). Oh man....
Otherwise, however, the author has succeeded in constructing a somewhat entertaining alternative history. Easy to read - and therefore consumed quickly. For the offered quality the price in my opinion but a bit too high ...
The fact that the story was written rather quickly, indicated for me already on the first pages. 'What if Germany won the Great War?' Well, then the mentioned "Road of June 17" would most likely not exist in the designed world ....

Seriously. Who the fuck is Willie Brandt? I'm an American, you Kraut tosser. You're lucky I even know who he is. Besides, Speer was more fun.

Did I really spell it with ph rather than f? In this universe it's with a ph, right? Right?

Will's Good idea for the week of 6-9-19

A sequel to The Austrian Painter, jumping ahead another 50 years.

Another world historical figure is an average citizen. Where? And Who? Whom?

Feel free to chime in on who'd you'd want taking you on a tour of the world from 1964-2014.

Blame Germany...Blame Germany...

In Der Fatherland, the Alternative for Germany Party doesn't like the German Empire's bad rap:

Germany's far right is trying to rehabilitate the German Empire and its role in World War I, resuming a decades-old debate ahead of the centenary of the armistice.

The magazine Compact, which is close to the anti-immigration Alternative for Germany (AfD), is publishing a special November issue dedicated to the 1919 Treaty of Versailles which held the Reich responsible for the Great War and compelled the country to make colossal reparations.

The title recalls the rhetoric used in the 1920s by those nostalgic for Imperial Germany and the Nazis: "The shame of Versailles: how the victorious powers enslaved Germany".

The problem with Versailles was that it was harsh enough to piss off the Krauts, but not harsh enough to keep the Krauts from rising again.

That is, the Treaty of Versailles was no Carthaginian Peace.  After the last war with Carthage, Rome burnt the city to the ground and sowed the land with salt. They were so effective we still can't read the Cartho-Phoenician language.

Since the 1960s Germany has generally been thought to bear the brunt of the war guilt for WWI as well. The events of August 1914 have been debated since September 1914. We're inclined to agree with the Blame Germany crowd- even though the man for whom we are named fought for Germany.

Still, Imperial Germany, the Kaiser, and all the rest of Der Reich wasn't evil, at least not compared to what came next. The more we've learned about the Great War the more convinced we become that America's entry was a mistake.

Had Germany won in 1914 the world would have been infinitely better off.

Which was the point of The Austrian Painter.

The Austrian Painter Review

Latest Review for The Austrian Painter: Five Stars:

I really enjoyed this book. It is easily the most original What If story involving Hitler I've ever come across. As the title suggests He is an artist and never goes into politics. The majority of the story takes place in 1964, on the fiftieth anniversary of the start of the Great War. Our protagonist is 75 year old well respected painter who still works and mostly keeps to himself. He is actually a rather likeable old world gentleman, though he does have some of the same attitudes that were common early in the 20th century. The story doesn't involve a whole lot of action, but this alternate world comes to life and was very interesting to visit.

Click

The Austrian Painter

Chancellor Albert Speer: 1964

The Austrian Painter Released

The Austrian Painter is now available via Amazon.com, linked below, and its international equivalents.

Friday Updates on Friday

Alert reader(s) have noticed that World War 1990 Anzacs is out. It's doing pretty good, too.

The Austrian Painter looks great and will go into the system today.

That Pershing book chapter on rescuing the Lost Battalion just doesn't seem to want to get worked out, so we're looking at another week. Meanwhile we're starting work on a chapter about AEF lit, memoirs, books, etc.

Book Progress

Ok, the editor will be getting The Austrian Painter next week. We're giving it a read through now and are more than halfway.

This gives us a few days, hours really, to figure out if there are any chapters to the painter's life we need to address.

Readers are welcome to make suggestions.

So far we see the painter in:

The Great War
On a Tour of America in the 1920s.
On a tour of Congo in 1930

From then on the action is in 1964.

In the meantime we'll be sorting out the last of the issues with World War 1990: The Final Storm.

The Austrian Painter

Going through the MS a third time, things are looking pretty good.

We're making some minor plot point changes, character X worked at Y rather than Z, and the like.

We're also omitting needless sentences which is tidying things up nicely.

We're also trying to make sure all of the Austrian Painter's character traits make it through. For example we've made no reference to the Austrian Painter's love of opera.

The flashbacks only go through the 1930's. We may need another chapter or two.

We'll see.

Accidentally Marketing the Austrian Painter

We live in an age unable to appreciate irony or nuance.

Louder with Crowder tells us:

Olney Theatre’s production of Mel Brooks’s 2001 musical The Producers only has three more performances, but it’s not going to close without a bit of manufactured controversy. Audience members at Montgomery County playhouse are going to have to walk past a small coterie protesting the show’s play-within-the-play, because, the demonstrators say, it makes light of Adolf Hitler and the atrocities committed by Nazi Germany. 

“I understand the intent is satire,” says Jeffrey Imm, who is organizing the demonstration through his anti-discrimination group, Responsible for Equality And Liberty. “This is the point of morality: some things we have to recognize as absolute evil. When 6 million people are murdered, we don’t view it with knee-slapping, we view it with reverence.”

This Imm person misses the point.

What would happen if the SPLC or ADL were to condemn The Austrian Painter?

Heh, we should be so lucky.

You can't buy that kind of PR.

What if another problem arises? What if those crazy guys in the Neo-Nazi community find The Austrian Painter and like it? We'll take Neo-Nazi money, that's not the point. What if they hold up The Austrian Painter as some sort of example of the 'the good' Hitler? Would it really be a good thing if The Austrian Painter goes viral because it makes Storm Front's recommended reading?

Uh oh,

Big fan

Wanna Destroy a Dead Dictator's Art?

Well this is interesting:

A painting by Adolf Hitler has been attacked by an enraged man yelling 'b*****d' at an exhibition in Italy

That'll show the dead dictator and really stick it to the continent's nonagenarian SS contingent too.

In researching The Austrian Painter we learned a lot about Hitler's art. Actually we'd never seen the above damaged piece before, but it does seem to  fit the personality, no? Maybe he was in a bad mood. Never judge an artist by the work he produces when he's stewing. We once wrote a short story titled, United States Marines vs Smurf Village.

[Weirdo-Ed]

We've mostly seen Hitler's still life pieces, scenery, buildings. His work seems blocky and stark to us, but we're really not in a position to judge. 

Hitler is usually thought of as a failed artist but by 1914 the man was actually supporting himself. When he took power in 1933 hundreds of people realized they had pieces of his hanging in their living rooms. Those pieces remain in private collections and are of course worth a lot of money.

What this art destroying maniac thought he was accomplishing we cannot say. Virtue signaling we guess. No doubt millions upon millions of fellow virtue signalers are right now nodding their heads in smug agreement. Hate must be confronted wherever found, even in an art museum.  Just ask the shysters is the SPLC or ADL. 

Hitler only looks dead.

Via

Der österreichische Maler

Several readers have asked why The Austrian Painter's 1964 has no space program.

You people know who you are.

We know the book cover you people have in mind, an astronaut (we tried to translate this into German but the German word for astronaut is astronaut) planting the Reich flag on the moon.

It's been done lots of times.We can think of alt hist covers with Confederate, Nazi and Comnie flags on the moon.

Simply put The Austrian Painter's 1964 is a lot more peaceful than our 1964.

We'll explain.

After the Wars of the French Revolution and Napoleon, Europe was at peace for 99 years. This was by design. Nobody wanted to repeat the turmoil of 1792 to 1815. 

Ok, ok there were mid sized wars but nothing like the Napoleonic Wars or the Great War. 

At the end of the war the powers met at the Congress of Vienna to draw the map and make the piece. Interested readers should Google names like Metternich and Castlereagh. The five great powers, Britain, France, Prussia/Germany, Austria and Russia maintained the peace. There was no general European War until 1914.

Had the Great war not happened or happened differently, as it does in The Austrian Painter, our whole miserable, bloody 20th century would not have happened.

Europe would have continued along its path of industrialization, political liberalization, technological advancement, etc etc. Russia and the United States would have remained on the edge of European affairs.

Not gonna happen

The Austrian Painter

We still have a few things to thresh out.

Russia. We're still not quite sure what to make of Russia.

There's no communism in this world and no Soviet Union but Russia is still a major factor just like in she was in 19th century Europe. Russia is confronted with hostile powers in the west, a restless Islamic Caucasus, and Mongoloid nationalism in Siberia.

We don't even know whose leading Russia in 1964. In a way this works. So far Russia is massive and faceless, a behemoth that simply is.

Actually, that's kind of working, isn't it?

Then there's China. Again, no communism so no Mao. You have a subdued Japan to the east, the British Empire to the southwest the French to the south in Siam, of course the Americans in the Pacific.

We suppose China is kind of peripheral to events in The Austrian Painter, but still, one should have details as squared away as possible.

The Austrian Painter-Reader Suggestions

We are declaring the 2nd draft of the Austrian Painter complete.

We feel we've smoothed out the text and transitions. Next comes the hardcore editing.

That won't be for a few weeks as we let the text sit and percolate.

Time remains for plot additions though. If we have to write a new chapter, we will.

To that end we once more we put out a call for reader ideas as to the world of the Austrian painter.

Germany wins the Great War, defeating France in 1914 and Russia in 1915. What happens between 1915 and 1964? What is the world of 1964 like?

Spoilers after the pic...

-The British Empire is still strong
-America has little role in Europe
-Their is no communism
-China is run by the KMT not Mao
-German has many African colonies, including Congo
-No nukes
-No space program
-France is a Gaullist basket-case

The Austrian Painter

When we conceived this project we envisioned the Austrian painter living in a musty old apartment and living the life of an old bohemian.

This was certainly true of Hitler who was a flop house artist more or less supporting himself.

Hitler lived in a one room sublet until the late 20's. In 1929, we think, with the success of Mein kampf He moved into a nine room 3rd floor apartment complete with three bedrooms, two baths and a maid. Hitler spent much time decorating his knew digs and spent lavishly on furniture and other  home items. Later he redecorated the Reich Chancellery and official residence.

It looks like the Austrian painter is going to have to be more than a solitary old man in a cramped apartment.

The Austrian Painter: George Lucas Phase

The Austrian Painter is now in the George Lucas Phase of the editorial process.

Regular reader(s) will recognize the George Lucas phase of our editorial process.

See Are we George Lucas? and Operation Eastern Storm or...I am George Lucas

Right now various parts of the Austrian Painter are a disorganized mess, just like the Star Wars prequels. Unlike George Lucas we are trying to fix these problems.

For example, after the war The Austrian Painter paints a lot of grim war-time scenes. We use this to show that all is not well with The Austrian Painter. The grim wartime paintings are essential to the character's development. Later as he is trying to deal with his combat fatigue, another artist friend suggests the Austrian Painter could find solace in painting grim wartime scenes, and he does.

See the problem?

There must be a dozen contradictions like that.

So we're fixing things up and getting the plot presentable for editing.

Don't worry.

[whose worried-Ed?]

This is all normal,

[Awww, I bet that's what mummy told you when you noticed hair in funny places-Ed]

The George Lucas Phase is all part of the process and a sign that things are moving along properly.

Pennies for The Austrian Painter

The great Jonah Goldberg, when talking about Attack of the Clones, once complained about current affairs creeping into the film; cigarettes, campaign finance reform and the like.  He called these 'pennies' from the Christopher Reeve movie, Somewhere in Time.

In this film Reeve puts himself in a trance to travel back to the turn of the 20th century to meet a beautiful woman- ahhhhhh, Jane Seymour. The trance is broken when he reaches into his pocket and takes out a modern penny.

We just found one of Goldberg's pennies in The Austrian Painter.

Our protagonist meets the nice American couple that just moved in down the hall. Turns out our American, Bob Baker, is with the embassy. Before coming to Berlin he was posted to Pyongyang where he dealt with the 'Korean Question'.

Ooops.

We'll have to do a re-write.

The Austrian Painter

So we're giving the Austrian Painter what we hope will be the final content edit.

By this we mean the plot is set, the pages, the paragraphs, etc. The narrative is all there. Once this process is finished all that really remains is the line edit.

We say 'all' but this is really the toughest part and that takes, well, a long time.

During time we'll be going back through some of those books in the below picture, making sure we got the man and his style down as best we can.

January? We hope January.

The Austrian Painter is Done

The Austrian Painter is done.

That is we are declaring the rough draft complete.

We were writing last night and the moment just seemed to be there.

Of course tons of work remains to be done on the MS and we may even add a chapter or two as there are some events we have not shown and a longer gap than we like in the narrative.

So here's what the book looks like. We start in 1964 and see the Austrian Painter and his world. Then we flashback. 1964, flashback and so on.

These flashbacks are:

-1914, the beginning of the Great War
-1915, he Austrian Painter's time on on the Eastern Front
-1920, the Austrian Painter tours the United States
-1930, the Austrian Painter tours the German Congo

So right now we have 30 years where we don't see another flashback. If someone has an idea for that we'd be interested. What else is there to show?