Tuesday Tally

Sports Edition

Every season NFL football gets just a little harder to watch. Here's a few tweaks to make the game easier on the eyes.

-Make the players act like grownups: No more strutting. No more dancing. No more silly gestures. Are we eight? You spike the ball in the end zone. That's it.

-Ban gesticulations: One of my biggest pet peeves is players making that gay 'throw the flag gesture', make doing it a 5 yard penalty. For that matter, no more getting off the turf and demanding the refs throw the flag. No more of that on the sidelines either.

-Get rid of replay: This is now a 4th part of the game along with offense defense and special teams. Good lord this slows down the game. As the great John Madden once said, 'Let's just have a catch be a catch, a fumble be a fumble and a touchdown be a touchdown.' I can live with the occasional missed call.

-Dress Code: Sorry coaches, stop dressing like a eight year old going to church. Jacket and tie. Dan Reeves was the last coach to dress appropriately When Rex Ryan is one of the better dressed coaches in the league, we have a problem.

Bonus

Get rid of Peyton Manning: By my count he's hocking Papa Johns,Nationwide Insurance and Directv. Almost every commercial break one is starting at his dorky face. Enough already. Peyton, you retired. Go play gold or something.

Tuesday Tally

Best British Generals in historical order:

Marlborough: Won half a dozen battles against Europe's military powerhouse, making Britain a European power.

Wellington: Peninsula Campaign, and of course, Waterloo.

Orde Wingate: Organized the elite and fast special night squads in Palestine, fought the Eye-Ties out of Ethiopia and saw the potential of air power and resupply in Burma dropping five brigades behind Japanese lines.

Lord Gort:  GOC BEF 1940. While the front in France was collapsing, Gort kept his head and retreated to Dunkirk. Held on for ten days while the army was evacuated.

Slim of Burma: Unique in that he lost Burma but stayed on to win it back in command of 14 Army. Good at Imphal, brilliant in the Meiktila campaign.

Robert Thompson: Managed and won the Malay insurgency. His campaigns are closely studied by all who have to fight insurgencies.

And some of the worst...

General Sir William Howe: Slow and slow witted. If he moved with speed and alacrity he could have destroyed Washington in NY.

William Cornwallis: Allowed himself to be led on a wild goose chase through out the American south, sapping his army's strength and laying the groundwork for Yorktown.

Lord Elphenstone:  Got his army destroyed outside Kabul in 1842 through sloth, and mealy mouthed dithering. George MacDonald Frazier's portrayal is great in  the first Flashman book.

Arthur Percival: lost Malaya and Singapore to the Japanese even though he outnumbered them and had highly favorable terrain.

I Dunno...
Garnet Wolsley: The celebrity general of the British Empire, defeated a lot of natives. Not sure he could have whipped the Prussians.

Monty: won a lot but did so slowly. Something about him just bugs me.