Get me a DNA test for Virginia Ancestry

Senator Elizabeth Warren (I, Foxwoods Casino) is just about the whitest person in America. At .009 percent  she's actually less Native American then your average white American.

Note, European and other foreign readers, most Americans whose families have been here for any time, certainly those that came in the 19th century or before, like to think there's some Native American ancestry in there someplace.

We know for a fact that on our mum's side we've had family here since the 17th century and figured there must be an American Indian in the fuel supply. We were greatly disappointed and a bit surprised by our 23andMe test that showed no Native American heritage.

Alert reader(s) know we're Jewish, 47.4 percent as it turns out. The other half, our mum's half is pure European. One half of that side is almost all Scotch-Irish, as it's called here in America. These were English and Scotsmen who got a land-grant from Orange Billy after the Battle of the Boyne in 1690. These are the Thompsons (our middle name), the Beatties and if you can believe it, the Bulls. That side of the family bugged out of Ireland to the New York Colony in the 1750s. We know this for a fact and have the records to prove it. 

We were Tories during the American Rebellion.

The other half of that side of the family came from eastern England in the 17th century, settled in Virginia, and then in the mid-18th century headed west and put down roots in Kentucky, where they still reside. These are the Thomassons and the Henrys. That is, the Henrys originally from Virginia as in the Henrys of Virginia....anyone know where this is headed?

Family lore has it we are descended from Patrick Henry*, as in Patrick, 'Give me liberty or give me death...These are the times that try men's souls' Henry.  It's plausible. 

So maybe we are descended from Patrick Henry. Or maybe someone decided, hey, we're Henrys from Virginia, we must be related to Patrick Henry.

I dunno.

Our point is someone in Senator Warren's family (I, Battle of the Rosebud) figured, hey, were in Oklahoma, there's gotta be some Cherokee in there, right? Right?

Thanks to her DNA test Warren knows that, from a factual standpoint, she's gone off the reservation.

No wonder she's on the warpath...sorry, we can't stop!

*Totally wrong about the French Revolution.