New Week, New Editing

We had a bout of cold weather this weekend, but the temp's gonna be in the 50's all week. We think we may lose the winter beard. We're guessing we won't get another snowstorm. Our snowblower gas tank is full. We'll run it just to burn through the gas and piss off some environmentalists. This blog has always believed in maximizing its carbon footprint.

Why did 74 people from Kenya visit this blog last night? Are we seeing a sudden spike in popularity in Africa? Are those Nightingale Russia pussies just using a VPN? [Again with Nightingale Russia?-Ed] Speaking of Russia, we heard from our KGB handler, and frankly, he sounds a bit down. We would be down too if we'd been personally sanctioned by the United States government. In all seriousness, and the previous sentence was serious, but in all seriousness, he really didn't think there'd be a war.

Maybe it's just us, but is Russia's War of liberation in Ukraine already becoming part of the background news? [War of liberation? You just have to push buttons, don't you?-Ed] I do, I really do. Here's what we mean. Back in the 80's every night on the news there'd be an update on the Lebanese Civil War. Same for the Jugoslav civil war in the 90's. Thirty seconds, maybe a minute on the nightly news, and then on to the latest 'women's health' story. 

What Will's Watching, Bill Maher on The Sunday Special: Ben Shapiro and Bill Maher have a long conversation about politics, Trump, voting, the environment, etc. The point of the conversation was for two men who disagree on many, many things to have a civil conversation. As always Maher makes great points. If one went for a beer with Bill Maher, he'd probably want to talk about anything other than politics. Which is one of the reasons we like him. Also, Maher is a free speech absolutist. 

Okay...back to work on The Weser this week. We'll finish Part II: The British and Part III: The Confederates. We're achieving great things, but must needs watchout for over editing. That is, once more, don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. As the Federation president said in Star Trek VI, 'Just because we can do a thing does not mean we must do that thing,' or some such.

Monday [not] Metal: Hmmm...Alanis Morrisette is touring with Garbage. You don't get more mid-90s than that, not outside of laboratory conditions. Ah, Alanis Morissette, Gen-X's psycho ex-girlfriend. Man...if you heard the girls listening to Alanis in the dorms you just stopped and slowly backed away. We saw Alanis in 95 with a cute 18 year old who's upstairs right now.  Anyway, Garbade:

The New Middle East: The Case for Puitn

By Guest Blogger General Vladimir Vladimirovich, Red Army (retired)

My Dear Americankanski Friends:

Warm greetings, from St. Petersberg, Russia.

I write today as admirer of your great nation and all that it has accomplished.

On personal note I would like to say that my father Ivan Vladimirovich fought in Red Army during Great Patriotic War and met many of your fathers and grandfathers on banks of River Elbe. Father enjoyed himself immensely and spoke very highly of American GI.

But on to serious matter.

I write to America today about your involvement in Middle East. Since 1979 this region of despots and religious, how you say, Tooney Loons has given you nothing but trouble, would you not agree? From Ayatollah, to Colonel Qadhafi to Saddam to al Qaida, Taliban, Isis, on and on. Your president, wisely in my estimation, has decided to largely disengage from region. Oddly to this observer your president's one interest in Middle East remains, how you say, sticking it to your greatest ally, Israel. This makes no sense to me, but America has always been somewhat baffling to us in Soviet...er Russia.

In vacuum created by Obama has stepped our own President Putin. As I write this Russian forces are battling Isis in Syria and Iraq and establishing bases therein.

Let me, please, explain why I feel this is good for America.

Vladimir Putin is not man to make angry. He has shown this with intransigent Ukraine, no? Also Georgia. Forgive me, my American friends, I fear you think I mean your state of Georgia. No I mean Republic of Georgia on southern border of Russia. President Putin made mince meat of them, no? And only late intervention of your President Bush prevented complete collapse of Georgian nation. These are but trivialities frankly, compared to actions President Putin took in Chechnya. In his own words President Putin 'Cut it off, where it not grow back.' He flattened Grozny and killed thousands of Chechen fighters in process. He has rebuilt Grozny and put his own strongman in charge. This is great victory for Putin and great victory for Russia.

I know, you have two concerns. First, oil. Really, comrade, you still worry about this commodity when you have become world's largest energy producer? Why do you still think you need those, how you say, camel jockeys in Saudi Arabia?

Now your second concern, Israel. As Noted in this very space, Vladimir Putin is friend to Jews and had very productive meeting with Prime Minister Netanyahu this year. Sure, there may be disagreements, but ask yourself who has treated Israel worse over years, Obama or Putin.

So I say, as your friend and admirer, why not let our President Putin deal with situation in Middle East? What have you to lose, America? He'll kill many terrorists, da?

Putin Strikes

Looks like I better write Putin Strikes while I still can, eh?

Putin puts nuclear missiles in the Baltic, orders the diplomats to send their dependents home and cancels a state visit to Paris. What a crisis.

Oh come now, this is no crisis. Obama will fold. He always folds.

Now, back in the day, I used to wonder why we were poking around Eastern Europe. Why bring the Baltic states into NATO? What's the point of that? For that matter, what's the point of NATO anymore? I mean really, the Germans are going to fight the Russians? Or the Norwegians, Belgians or Dutch? Yeah sure, Ok.

As it happens I've been reading a bio of Putin. He's pretty much what we think he is, stern, calculating, brutal when necessary and interested in restoring the greatness of Mother Russia. Mission accomplished, I'd say. In this space I have argued that Putin is securing his western flank because the eastern flank is so problematic. But I think I got it wrong. He gets on splendidly with China. He secured the eastern flank so he could make trouble on the western flank.

He's just so damn brazen about it. Georgia, Ukraine, Syria now the Baltics. I wonder what Putin has on us. He's probably reading our diplomatic correspondence word for word. Has he got a man in the White House? The State Department? He owns Barry, that's for sure.

Look, Poland, I like you a lot, I really do. My advice, talk to Putin and get the best deal you can. The man is not unreasonable.

I'm not dying for Danzig.