Publish This!

The Mad Genius Club blogs about problems in the publishing industry. This struck us about the head: 

But there’s another problem with the statement. It completely ignores the fact that trad publishing isn’t the only arm of the industry. Mind you, that’s not uncommon. Many of those involved in what we now look at as trad publishing turn a blind eye to indie publishing and would really like it if we’d all go away. After all, we haven’t paid our dues. We write too fast. We write dreck instead of meaningful works that will bring “enlightened understanding” and unity to our nation. And–gasp–we don’t charge nearly enough for our work.

Hahahahahah....The big five publishing houses can't stop publishing vampire and chick lit. Enlightened understanding and meaning indeed.

This blog remains baffled as to why anyone would want to go the trad publishing route. Lemme tell you young, aspiring authors how your Manhattan editor will see you. Let's say one of the big publishing house imprints accepts your book. Great. Now you'll spend the next year in editing hell doing rewrites. You see, they're not publishing your book, they're taking your book and using you to re-write it into their book. See the difference? We'll try another way just in case we're not getting through to you young fellaa: 

Editor: We have accepted your book for publication.

Young Sap: Great! Oh my god I just wish granny were here to see this. She gave me her love of books and...

Editor: Now rewrite it exactly the way we say. I'm thinking your protagonist should be trans...

You're just a tool. In return for publishing the work you re-wrote into something they wanted, the publisher will print a thousand copies and maybe get it on the shelf at B&N next to the JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer* and pay you maybe a 15% royalty.

Young Sap: But...but...Think of all the publisher can do for you, editing....

Will: I just finished Mamelukes and found typos. I've found typos in big fancy history books. So don't try that 'sefl' publishing crap with me. There is no such thing as a perfect book.

Young Sap: But they can market and...

Will: Is your name James Patterson? No? Ok. They're not going to market your book. That costs money. That means risk. The publisher who just made you re-write the book you lost sleep over isn't taking a risk for you. Sorry.

Young Sap: Book signings....

Will: Like sitting alone at a table in a bookstore, do you? Again, is your name James Patterson?

Young Sap: But I really just wanna see my book on the shelf and...

Will: I've seen my books on the shelf, the thrill lasts about five seconds. I have a pic somewhere that I can't be bothered to find.

So eschew the big publishing houses, young fella. Just do it yourself. It's not that big a deal. There are all kinds of ways to do it. Oh look, we just put two previously unpublished articles about the Cambodian War up on Substack....

*Spent a whole summer writing Twilight! Took us two years to write A Line Through the Desert. [You bitter knobhead-Ed]

Reader Magnet

So these shitheads cold called me yesterday.

The above mentioned shitheads ae Reader Magnet a self-publishing and book marketing firm. Right away it was clear we were speaking to a $10 an hour telemarketer. As the poor sop read us the sales pitch, ours was a study in cold detachment and rudeness. When we finally asked how much they wanted to display a single copy of one of our books at a book fair they replied $500. We laughed mockingly and demanded a supervisor. 

We cannot word for word  recount the tongue lashing we gave the man, but it went something like this:

Listen up, I am a highly successful author. I am very good at what I do. I've published more than a dozen novels and marketed them all myself without the likes of you. You go to Amazon right now and see how well I've done. Seriously, do you know who the fuck I am? I am an indy-publishing and book marketing expert.  Five-hundred dollars? Are you out of your fucking mind? Do people really take you up on this? No wonder those Pakistani telemarketers won't give up. Tell you what, pal. If you believe in me so much, here's a counter offer. I'll sell you one-hundred copies of The Austrian Painter, at $4.99 a pop. For $9.99 I'll autograph each. Deal?

We might cold call Reader Magnet's office today and try to sell them some books, you know, just to be a dick.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and love Indy Publishing

Dragon Award winner Brian Niemeier posts some advice for young authors. A sample:

Until quite recently I was always shocked when aspiring authors told me they planned to submit their novels to traditional publishers--especially now that even publishing industry insiders are admitting that Amazon and indie authors have sent the Big Five trad publishers into a death spiral.

Young author(s) reading this, go read the rest of that. We second everything in that post. Everything.

There is never a good reason for an author to sign on with a publishing house. NEVER.

Only the very biggest authors, we're talking JK Rawling here, get more than fraction in royalties or a big advance. Back when we were trying the trad-pub route the best percentage we saw was 20-30.

With Amazon and Nook we're taking 70%. And that gets paid within 60-90 without fail.

By the way, did we mention control over our work? We control our books utterly. They're mine. We own the copyright and nothing goes in there unless we say so. No one ever says to us, 'You need o take out some of those exploding tanks.'

Will Stroock writes, what Will Stroock wants. So if Will Stroock thinks The Austrian Painter needs a lesbian three way scene for context, The Austrian Painter gets a lesbian three way scene. P-e-r-i-o-d.

[Third person now? And don't even get me started on the lesbo thing -Ed]

Shut up.

[I'm telling Mrs. Stroock-Ed]

Hustle Your Own Books

Breathtaking stupidity from one of your 'traditionally published' authors. In several bullet points, Ros Barber says why she won't Indy publish and why you shouldn't either. I'd like to take one of those points head on:

You have to forget writing for a living
If you self-publish your book, you are not going to be writing for a living. You are going to be marketing for a living. Self-published authors should expect to spend only 10% of their time writing and 90% of their time marketing. The self-published author who came to my blog to preach the virtues of his path, claiming to make five figures a month from Kindle sales of his 11 novels, puts his writing time percentage in single figures. If that sounds like fun to you, be my guest. But if your passion is creating worlds and characters, telling great stories, and/or revelling in language, you might want to aim for traditional publication.

Listen, sweetheart, your trad publisher isn't going to do any leg work for your book, not unless your Tom frekin Clancy or some such.

Meanwhile you can hustle for yourself all you like.

This is why my best book has 158 reviews and yours has 28.

I do all my own marketing and advertising and it takes  a fraction of my time, most of the rest of  which is spent writing.

Look folks, for aspiring authors out there, here's the skinny, the 411 on advertising.

I do at least one thing a day to hustle for my books. This post fills that requirement. I'll also do some light tweeting (gabbing?)on Gab or maybe post something on FB. You're all welcome to look me up on either of those platforms.

Other than that I buy print and digital ads, I'm experimenting on Goodreads right now. Still my most important platform is magazines, history and/or military history. After much mixing and matching I think a small ad is the most cost effective. I was just experimenting with full pagers but I don't think it makes enough difference to make the extra cost worthwhile. So a battery of 1/3 or 1/4 adds in three or four mags, say Military Heritage, Vietnam and WWIIQ, is the most effective way to go.

If you're wondering, I can't divulge prices, but it really isn't all that much. You can get a 1/3 or 1/4 for well under a thousand.

So basically here's my mag ad strategy. Go with a solid corps, in my case its the Sovereign Group and History-net group, run about three ads with each.

I also run ads in a couple of magazine empires in Britain. Per-capita I'm more popular with Her Majesties' subjects than I am with American citizens.

Last year I also took out a series of ads in European military history magazines, German, French, Spanish, etc. For a while I thought these were a bust, but over time the sales added up and we are well in the black now. I've done ads in Australia too. Same thing.

In this way I've gained thousands of fans and followers.

Ros Barber cannot say the same.